I fought the war, but the war won.

di jul 03, 2018 1:48 am

Sooner or later

your human side loses

He knew what it felt like to burn on the inside, to feel his heart cripple to nothing but dust. The man had experienced it countless times before, and every time he rose from the ashes like a phoenix. But unlike a phoenix, who could rise and thrive again until the earth stopped existing, he felt as if he had reached his limit. The split second his mother gave away her last breath to the sky, he knew his soul would die with her.

And that prediction had come true. Even months after the fatal tragedy had taken place, Vestyn still had not risen again like that fictional phoenix. On the contrary, he had never felt more lifeless inside. And it was all her fault. Or so the blonde lord kept telling himself, just to avoid the reality where she was the only touchable remnant of that day. In the back of his mind he knew the death of Adaline was not entirely Faylice’s fault – not directly, at least. It was his half-brother who had forced her to kill the queen, as Ves was told later by spies from his homeland who were – surprisingly – still loyal to him. At first, he refused to believe the facts they handed over to him, that Ragnar had plotted it all out weeks before the actual assassination. The tragedy had begun with the blackmailing of Faylice, after that the spying on Adaline for Ragnar, and in the end, it all lead to that disastrous day at the chapel near court. The day of his mother’s death, and even so the day his heart died with her.

Despite the fact Vestyn practically felt next to nothing now that he had banned most of his emotions out of his system, he somehow – somewhere – felt a feeling he hadn’t experienced in a long period of time. Guilt.
The blonde man had treated his former lover like trash. He had buried her under a tsunami of horrible accusations, time and time again. He had even wished her dead more than a thousand moments in his head. And yet, she had never lashed out at him for being such an ass. That given fact proved even more that she still had a good heart, and that she was no murderer like Ves kept forcing himself to see her as such. Simply to evade the one thing he had to do. Forgive her and apologize a million times.

Forgiveness didn’t come easy to him, certainly not when it involved the death of a loved one. But in his soul Vestyn knew he had to do it, or he would never be able to move on. Move on from her, mostly. Just as much as he, she deserved it to make peace with their shared past, too. Perhaps even more than him.
But if he wanted to help her on the road to redemption, as he liked to call it, he had to find her first. Since the fall of King Thriumph, it had proven to be much more difficult with her probably on the run from the entirety of Navarre. Ves wasn’t even sure if the raven-haired woman was still in the kingdom at all. For all that he knew, she could have run off to some far away land where no one would ever find her. A part of him hoped she indeed had, because it meant that the chance she was safe from her father and the people in Navarre, was much larger than when she had stayed behind here. Of course, the blonde man would never admit it out loud, but these last few days he had begun to care for Fay once again, even when it was just as little as a spark. It meant that the process of healing and forgiveness had been set in motion.

Day after day, Vestyn had searched the borders and most remote parts of Navarre and d’Auvergne, but with no success as of yet. There seemed to be no trace left of his former lover. Just less than half a day ago he had almost given up hope, when something odd had happened. On his way back to d’Auvergne he rode past the abandoned graveyard, from what he knew of that Navarrian royals lay buried there, and found the black-haired lady he had been in search of for days.
Demanding his black stallion to standstill, Vestyn dismounted him not long after and tied him to a tree close-by. Without any hesitation in his blue orbs, he headed in the direction of Faylice. Once there, he forced his lips to form words. “Faylice,” was the first thing to come out of his mouth. “we need to talk.”

& Faylice

Vestyn Tenebrae

[/i][/i]

do jul 12, 2018 1:27 pm

She smiles on trouble,
gathers her strength from distress,
and grows brave by reflection

Oh so carefully Faylice readjusted the little flowers to their new place. Every flower so fragile she was surprised they even survived the way to the graveyard. But they did, under the soft touch of the dark haired lady. Now they needed to be aligned so perfectly, because nothing underneath that level was acceptable. Not for her, the one the flower were for. Especially not this time, now Fay had been away for longer than she wanted to be, the return had to be spotless. Even though it were mere flowers, Fay knew that pretty well, it still meant something. In a very, very weird way that was. But it was kind of the same thing of her skin that needed to be spotless, clean, because then everything went well. The stupid obsession over that was a thing Fay fought against, hating the way she got controlled by such a simple thing. But then, then the fear came in. The flashes back to that single night she would remember for the rest of her life. As it was engraved into her mind, her thoughts that really couldn’t run around that. Well, except if she kept that promise she wanted to fight, and so she did.

Quietly the lady lowered the little bouquet of flowers, after she decided it wouldn’t get any better than the way they were now. The ice blue eyes resting on the almost invisible sign of a old royal graveyard, taking a big breath in. It was time for her to return into her old habits, and that felt oddly difficult to do. Even when it was such a thing like this one, alone where no one could really judge or do anything. Protected by the two guards that were standing alongside. It was like a wicked mindgame, with the only player being herself. But that was something she did before, and didn’t end all to well.

Breathing the deep breath out again over her lower lip Fay looked at the sides of her, towards the two guards that stared at her awaiting their order. ’I’ll take it from here, if you’d mind waiting here?’ Her voice sounded so soft it could be described as a whisper, but luckily the two man were well used to it now. With the simple nod of the two she stepped into the almost hidden place, it seemed like the quiet really ruled here. Apart from a few far away birds there were no sounds, nothing but her stepping through the dirt with a huge deal of caution. Moving towards the one grave she really knew, the one of Adeline. It had been a tradition for the dark haired lady, coming to this grave every once in a while to lay down a single set of flowers. The prettiest, white ones she could find, all alone and in secret. A promise Fay made to herself, to keep reminding her about what had happened, what she had done. Even though she was forced to do it, her hands were still the ones holding the sword that pierced through the innocent queen. With the thought she laid down the flowers, right on the spot back where she always put them. So softly, stepping back to watch the whole again afterwards. There, in that moment it felt like nothing had changed, she still was the girl that fled back to Navarre, she still was the princess of the country. The whole nigh just didn’t happen, and this would be the thing that was constantly on her mind. Because that was a fact, now it was just clouded with her own troubles and problems.

Fay stepped back, finding the tree that still stood there to lean against. It all happened, but she would never forget her, as she would with the whole happening around it. Somehow that brought peace to her chaotic mind, giving her the thought that she still would be strong enough to overcome it al. Proving herself that she could return to Navarre, as this was her very first trip, the very first time she had come back. D’auvignon still felt so far way, and Fay didn’t mind that, not for now. D’auvergne would be the first step of so many for her to function again like she used to do. That, but then better, doing good instead of running away forever. That was another promise to herself she wanted to held, she would at least do it for Adeline.

How long she had been standing there, watching the flowers move on the tiniest breeze that came through the little graveyard. Her thoughts running over that specific event, on how she still felt ashamed, somewhat responsible for everything she had done. To how she would do better, next. Feeling how her shoulders dropped and she finally felt the chance to feel small and vulnerable, on her own choice. Not pushing away the hiding emotions that ran deep underneath, swallowing some of the tears away. It was when she heard her name getting called, she got pulled back into reality. Caused by not particularly her name itself, but the too familiar voice behind. At first, Fay couldn’t believe, thinking it was one of the many tricks her mind pulled, like it did all the time. But she still turned around, wanting to prove otherwise, until the ice blue eyes picked up on the silhouette that couldn’t be anyone else. Vestyn. A shock visible in the eyes she watched for a few moments, as if her mind couldn’t process the image alone. Getting worried almost immediately about what he was doing here. How he found her, and what his intention actually was. The next words came in, making her look shift into a incomprehensible one. ’Vestyn.’ Fay finally managed to get off her lips, her voice sounding broken of the emotions from earlier. He, once the love of her life, who had given her so much shame, who wanted her dead more than anything. ’Without any knifes please.’ The lady responded eventually. ’Or daggers, or swords for that matter.’ Her voice a stronger then before, as the gaze if the blue eyes turned into a worried one again, searching those ocean blue eyes while her thoughts exploded again.

BY MITZI

ma jul 30, 2018 11:33 pm

Sooner or later

your human side loses

It was truly her, he still had difficulty believing what his blue orbs registered in front of him. Every pixel of her beauty was being carefully taken in by his brain cells, and memorized immediately after. He did not know for how long he could enjoy the sight of her youthful face, not after all that he had done to her. Vestyn was less than certain as to how she saw him and if she could ever forgive him for everything that had happened. She undoubtedly could not, he was more or less convinced about that matter. And besides, why would the raven-haired lady even consider to forgive him? She had all the reasons not to. First and foremost, he had blamed her for the death of his mother, while it had been his half-brother’s doing all along. Secondly, the blonde lord had shown her nothing but hatred and aversion, loathing her every minute of every day since the passing of Adaline. Until now. Ves was done hating the love of his life, he was done picturing her as the bad guy in his nightmares. He was mentally tired and somehow ready to heal again, to forgive and to be forgiven, but not forget. That was something he never could, and she probably neither. But that did not mean they could not learn to live again instead of surviving. Vestyn was more than willing to try that once more, to actually feel alive again.

A whisper, sounding shattered, but still with that strong vibe underneath like only she possessed, came out of her mouth, reaching his ears not long after. It was his name that her whispering handed over to him. The sound of her voice made him weak on his knees and warmer than ever in his heart. His ocean blue eyes grew softer with each passing second, yet he did not dare to move any millimetre closer to her, as it still felt too early to approach her like nothing had ever happened. Vestyn had to remind himself that, although he was at a state where he could think about forgiveness, she might not think the same way, yet.
“Without any knives, please.” Faylice’s voice expressed. “Or daggers, or swords for that matter.” He could sense that she was still on guard, that she did not trust him much – if at all. Following her wish, his left hand reached for the silver sword hanging on the side of his chest, taking it slowly out of its concealment and laying it with care on the soil. After that, Vestyn put his hands in the air to show the dark-haired woman that he had no other weapons left on his body. Hopefully she believed him, not that he had much faith in that, but he could not do anything more than just trust her and hope it was enough.

“I am not here to harm you, Fay.” he spoke with a soft voice, trying to sound like the old version of him. Stepping closer to her current position, he went on, stronger this time. “I came here to ask you for your forgiveness.” His orbs found their way to her dazzling blue ones, seeking a reaction or emotion in the process. “Because I am ready to forgive you. I know the truth now, that it wasn’t your fault that my mother died, but my brother’s.” Vestyn spoke, while the hate for Ragnar was clearly audible with every word that rolled over his lips. “I have caused you so much pain, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that. I know that I cannot turn back time and do it all over again, but I hope that with this step that I’m taking right now, that you can eventually see that.” Every word came straight from the deepest parts of his heart, and he meant every one of them.

Vestyn Tenebrae

I fought the war, but the war won.

I fought the war, but the war won.

Re: I fought the war, but the war won.

Re: I fought the war, but the war won.

Re: I fought the war, but the war won.