Breach of solitude

Propably to no one's surpise, Mercury had been the first one to get up and leave, breathing in the fresh air as he hastily made his departure from the room. He was going to be fine, this just had been a meeting like no other. Sure, some exciting things had happened but nothing could top the exciting thing that he had seen a cat! Right?! Right? How pathetic. Even he couldn't believe those thoughts at the moment anymore and when he thought he had walked away far enough, he let his shoulders and head hang for a moment. He would be fine. If he repeated those words over and over in his head, he would indeed be fine. He had just said some dumb things, like aways. Mercury was just being Mercury.

The Commander walked further, looking up at the sky as he saw the little specs of light appear again. But for once, he didn't feel like he wanted to watch the stars and ask for their stories. Suddenly it felt like they were invading his moment of solitude. So, the young vampire turned his back to the field and walked into the forest. A walk would probably do him good, it would make it extra special if he saw another cat. Then everything had to be alright, right? A shy smile returned on his lips. See, he could cheer himself up! He didn't need cats or anybody now, did he?

A little deeper into the forest, Mercury had decided it was nice to sit himself down on some rocks. The trees started to get dense here, their shadows almost identical to the darness of the night that was setting in. Somewhere he missed the sun and how he had always walked freely in its rays. Now, he was blessed by the shine of the moon and though it was very beautiful, it somewow felt stale. But it was never too late to get used to it, even if it was sixhundred years later. The vampire softly chuckled as he reminded himself how stupid he was. Closing his eyes and letting the fading sounds of nature wash over him, was relaxing, making him not noticing the footsteps approaching.

Silence was a virtue and some didn't seem to realise that. But, when you lived for so long, you cherished every moment you had when it was silent. Because then your thoughts wound't be disturbed and you could just let yourself go for a moment. Be yourself. Mercury was still struggeling with that, even after so long he still wasn't sure when to let his thoughts go and when he should keep them close. It was a mess inside his head, but it wasn't messy enough for him to stop functioning. So the vampire continued on, letting the mess pile up. Some day it would be too much, but neither he nor anyone else knew when that day would be approaching. For now though, he let his thoughts wander.

That was, until a familiar voice sounded. One he hadn't expected to hear and especially not that close. The young Commander jumped up from the rock, immediately turning around with a surprised expression painted on his face. Though she might be the Commander of Nature, somehow he hadn't expected her to turn up here. Mercury showed her a goofy smile, scratching his neck for a moment as he collected himself. ''Of course! Why wouldn't it be?'' The light tone in his voice was a masquerade he hoped she wouldn't see through. Diana was one of the Commanders he didn't get often in touch with. Though Nature and Peace often went hand in hand, they both could be ruthless in their own way. Mercury rather kept his distance from something where he couldn't quite know if it was to be friend or foe. ''So, you're the chosen one hm? Like, the one who gets to go see the second? You know, what we talked about in the meeting? That one meeting we just had?'' Too much words for something so simple she had probably already understood after his first question. Nontheless Mercury just wanted to be extra extra sure she understood him. And he also wanted to be extra extra sure she wasn't going to ask any further about him.

She would definitely know something was wrong. It wasn´t surprising that Mercury just started talking and kept talking, but today it was like he was stumbling over his words and falling over his sentences. Normally he would just ramble, he would let himself go without warning until someone made him come to an halt. Today, he could even notice himself something was off. Had it been the meeting that had had such a big impact on him? Was he truly this excited or afraid for what was to come? Navarre suddenly seemed so far away, almost unreacheable. Thinking of how he always got into trouble, the thought popped up that it might be better for him to not go at all.

The young Commander sat down again as Diana joined him. He stared forward, his normal eye was facing her side making him a little confident. At least she wouldn't stare at him as much as other people did sometimes. He lived here for so long and yet people still looked at him like he had just joined them. Sometimes he could hear the whispers behind his back. But they were never loud enough for him to understand. His attention was turned towards the other Commander when she sked him how he thougght Navarre would be. He was about to give her another waterfall of words when she asked about Minerva. It made him shut up for longer than he had expected. Don't get him wrong, he liked Minerva and he liked her a lot. But them on their own on their way to Navarre didn't really sound like a great plan. Nonetheless, Mercury shrugged casually, clacking his tongue. ''Oh you know how it gets. I'm always the one who gets Minerva angry but I'm also the one who calms her down.'' He fluttered with his fingers, implying the fact that he could literally calm Minerca down. Wait, maybe she didn't get that. ''You know, because.. you know.. I have that kind of magic.'' His voice trailed off slowly become more silent. Why couldn't he suddenly get out of his words anymore? Had someone put a curse on him?

How long would it take for him to become his normal, bubbly self again? How long until he no longer felt like a burden and like someone who was out of place everywhere he went? Even after all these years he still could feel eyes burning into his back and somehow those stares still got to him. He still cared about them. All Mercury had ever wanted was to fit in, to be just as normal as everyone else was. But how normal was normal? Wasn't everyone their unique self? Wasn't that the point? To be yourself? Then why was he struggeling so much with it?

Now he wasn't even sure if Diana wanted to be here. She had come here herself and she had struck up the conversation, he was not to blame. But it didn't make him feel less of a burden. The Commander fumbled with his hands, not sure what to do with this whole conversation. The vampire hadn't felt this awkward during conversations since forever. Was he truly getting this worse? When she spoke of him having everything under control, Mercury nodded maybe a little too enthusiastically. ''Of course! Why wouldn't I have everything under control? Everything is perfectly fine, no need to worry. At all.'' The flood of words escaped his mouth before he could put himself to a hold. It would only show how not okay he truly was. The vampire sighed, letting his shoulders slump a little. ''I mean.. maybe a little less okay than normal.'' He finally admitted, though it was very reluctant. There was no need to bother her with his problems. After all, they were his and not hers.