There were many things about this castle that sickened her at this point. The lack of color, for example. Her old home had been completely decorated up to her own wishes, yet this place would always feel empty. Though she doubted that any kind of decoration could fill up these empty halls, as they just had this permanent feeling to them. Perhaps one day she would find herself back at her home in Falkreath, just for a few days. A holiday of sorts. When every piece had fallen back in place, that seemed like a good plan. Perhaps she could truly take Kaz with her, even if he hated the snow. She had always loved it, as it was beautiful, yet cold. Something she had once been too, where she had softened quite a bit now.

A glass of wine in her hand was her default state at this point, so that would surprise no one. That she was making her way into the throne room at this time of the day, was something new completely. And she did it exactly for that reason, as it would allow her to avoid everyone for once in her life. No matter where she went in this damn castle, someone would find her and everyone always needed something. ‘There’s someone at the gates!’ ‘What does this word mean?’ ‘The alchemists made something explode!’ Miserable, truly. But, there were fun times to it too. Like helping the alchemists out with what they were doing. Recently, she had been doing that more often, even if it was just to escape her other tasks. Meeting people who aspired to be an Alchemist themselves, warmed her heart. Perhaps one day, when things were much calmer, she could teach them what she knew.

The door to the throne room opened and she made her way in, completely missing the fact that there was someone standing against the wall. One of the guards whose name she didn’t remember. Most of the time, she had Gareth at her side if she needed one. Every now and then Gareth was off and she had another guard by her side, but that was rare. The man seemed to work more than he was free, yet she wouldn’t complain. Surprisingly, the old man had been good company.
Walking up to the window rather than her chair, she looked out of it, taking a sip from her wine. She didn’t speak, just stared into nothingness as she tried to keep her thoughts positive. After all, that was her goal right now. The castle would be a mess for some time to come, but at least she could get herself together. Right?

The castle was safe and as such, she need not watch her surroundings at all times. She knew that was stupid, as someone could have tried to sneak in and harm her, taking her seat. She also knew that they would probably be caught by one of the guards, rather than backstabbing her in the normally empty throne room. While a worry shot into her head, she shook it off instantly. After all, she had come here for positive thoughts. Any negative ones needed to be shrugged off, because otherwise there would be no end to them. The past few weeks had been filled with enough negativity already, she did not need any more of it.

With clear surprise in her eyes, she turned around when she heard the guard clear his throat. Her eyebrows shot up as she looked for him, smiling when she did. “Oh,” was the sound that involuntarily left her mouth, before she pulled a hand through her long hair. Her usual nervous tic, something that would probably never change. For a second, she worked to get herself together after being startled, forcing that smile on her face that she seemed to wear permanently now. “I didn’t expect anyone here,” she admitted, moving her gaze to the glass of wine for a second, before looking back at the guard.
While she would have loved to say that she knew who he was, she did not. Maybe he was new, or maybe he had been around the castle for longer than she had, like most guards had. Some had been forced to give up their position as guard after the change of reign, which meant some new ones had been hired. There were, however, still quite some who had been around for a while. Like Gareth, for example.