Before the dawn

The first day in the cabin had been horrible. Not exactly how he had expected to spend his first day here, at all. His emotions had been all over the place. He was not one to show them to the people around him, so he had kept them all inside until the moment he had been alone. Breaking down in front of other people was not exactly his thing, but once he was out of sight, he truly submitted to the sadness he felt deep inside. It had left him unable to get out of bed for almost twenty-four hours. He had never felt that alone ever in his whole life.

How he had managed to write a letter, was a mystery even to him. There was one person that would not abandon him. Or so he hoped. It had given him a reason to get actually out of hiding. He didn’t want her to find him in the bed, depressed as fuck. She couldn’t know. He hoped her presence would drag him out of his sadness, without him having to explain what exactly had happened. The vampire was sitting on the porch, silently waiting for her arrival. Because she was the only one to have a chance of pulling him out of this darkness.

The sound of hooves on the dry earth was audible for him long before she actually came in sight. There were a lot of trees around his cabin, which he surely didn’t mind at all. They weren’t really blocking the view on the river behind the cabin anyway, and it gave a cosy feeling to the rest of the environment. Safe and protected, tucked away from any danger the outside world possessed. The path that lead up to the cabin, was hidden between the trees as well, though it was easy to find if one knew where to look. He had drawn a map from the Watch towards his cabin, so Lexa would have no trouble finding it. He had expected her to come, and she had clearly lived up to his expectations. The timing was about right as well. It had been smart to come out of his new room, as he hadn’t want her to find him inside. The past hours he had spent hiding beneath the furs that covered the bed, as if those would keep him safe from all the bad feelings that were clouding his mind at the moment.

It had been bad. A true mess. From the moment he had been alone, he had broken down. As long as there were people around him, he wanted to stay strong, for their sake. Keeping the spirit high, encouraging others to find that strength to push through. At least he had saved the relationship between Allison and Kaz. Because it was clear the man needed his wife more than he needed a brother at the moment. The pain was still fresh, cutting right through his heart every time he thought about it. The downside of being a vampire was that he didn’t get tired. Sleep would give him the opportunity to escape his thoughts for a while, but it was actually impossible to shut down his mind. He kept replaying the words in his head, and it was driving him insane.

From the second Lexa appeared in his sight, he forced those thoughts away though. She could not now. He wasn’t ashamed of showing her his weak side, as he knew she did the exact same when she was around him. But there was no time to deal with drama. They had promised each other some quality time, as they both knew they would run out of that probably pretty soon. When she got of the horse, he pushed himself up from the bench he was sitting on. In a heartbeat he was standing in front of her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. He buried his face in the curve of her neck, taking in her scent. It felt like ages ago he had been this close to her. ”Hi”, He murmured softly. He then took some distance from her, yet didn’t let go of her just yet. ”I’m so glad you came”, He said with a smile that was hiding how much he truly needed her right now. He wasn’t particularly good at lying, but hopefully she would not think about it too much, or ask any hard questions he didn’t want to answer right now.

Her presence had a clear impact on the young vampire. Where he had felt restless and unsure before, he now felt a bit more safe. The terrible feeling of looming disaster was fading quickly when she wrapped her arms around him as well. Her touch reassured him. The future didn’t seem so dark anymore now she was here. She gave him strength, once more. Enough for him to ignore the awful thoughts bothering his mind so he could truly enjoy the time they would spend together. He had been so excited to finally show her the cabin. That excitement was slowly coming back now. He couldn’t quite remember if he had cleaned up properly, since he had went straight to bed and hadn’t come out until a couple of hours ago. His bed was probably as much of a mess as his head at the moment, but he hoped it wouldn’t be too obvious.

”I missed you too”, He replied with a soft smile. If he had known what had been waiting for him in Brightwater Keep.. Would he have still left Vanaheim? It was a question that had kept him occupied a couple of times in the past few days. The circumstances had fucked up his entire relationship with his brother, one that had been fragile to begin with. If he hadn’t been at the wedding party, none of it would have happened. Mort tried to shake those thoughts again. It didn’t matter anymore. What had happened, had happened and now he would have to live with the consequences. His gaze darted to Astral for a second. ”Let’s put her in the meadow with Bastion”, He suggested. The horse looked like it could need a little vacation as well.

Ever since they had met, she had always managed to make him feel alive again. Human. Normal. When he was with her it didn’t matter who he was. They created a safe space where they could just forget about their past and their future at the same time. It was only here and now at this point. As much as he had missed her, he had missed this too. What they had when they were with each other. No matter how he felt, all bad emotions seemed to disappear like snow melting in the sun when he had her close. Right now it was all he could have ever wished for. They hadn’t seen each other for quite a while and so much had happened in the meantime. Tragedy striking when he had least expected it. For the first time in forever he had had actual hope his life had been going in the right direction. Only to have it ripped away right after.

The vampire allowed himself to fall into old habits though, trying to forget about the hurt and worries he had endured the past few weeks. Slowly escaping into that bubble they had around them. He showed Lexa the way around the house, to the meadow that was surrounded by a fence. It was recently replaced and thus resistant enough to house two horses. Bastion let out an enthusiastic whinny when he saw them approaching. He was not entirely sure if it was because of him, Lexa or Astral. When he opened the gate though, the stallion came straight at him to greet him. ”We have bonded quite a bit”, He smiled at her. ”Or, he’s looking for treats”, He then joked. He gave the horse a gentle pat on his nose before pushing him backwards a bit, so Astral could enter without being blocked by him.

Animals would forever be one of his weaknesses. Well, he had a lot, to be fair. But nothing could make him melt more than a cute duckling, or a small puppy. Or a clever horse looking for treats, for that matter. Bastion was exactly the kind of horse he needed. Gentle and smart, and a little bit mischievous at times. It was clear who he got those traits from. ”Yeah, I think he likes it here”, He replied with a short nod. Better than the confined stables he had spent the past few weeks in, back in Brightwater Keep. ”Looks like you’ve healed properly?” He noted, as she was having little trouble with taking the saddle of Astral. Despite all that, he helped by carrying it to the small shed that was right next to the meadow.

That way, they were finished faster, which gave them more time to do fun things. Because that was the goal of this entire visit, right? ”Let me show you my favourite spot”, He therefore suggested, before he pulled his hand through his hair. ”I mean, my favourite spot so far”, He added with a chuckle. There was much he hadn’t explored yet. He started walking in the direction of the river, a bit more downstream from where the cabin was. He waited for her to catch up with him before another idea popped into his head. For the first time he didn’t have to worry anyone would see them. So he carefully grabbed her hand, gently letting his fingers intertwine with hers. A smile appeared on his face as he felt the familiar warmth spreading throughout his chest. It was such a small, insignificant gesture, yet it made him like he was on top of the world right now.

While he had been in Brightwater, Kaz’ health hadn’t been the only thing he had been worrying about. In the back of his mind he had, indeed, been distracted by her a bit. Wondering how she was recovering from her battle wounds. Though her wounds hadn’t been as severe as those inflicted on his brother by Isabella, she was not a vampire. His fledgling had healed rather quickly, at least physically. Aside from his leg, he should be doing fine by now. Mentally.. Was a whole other question. But it wasn’t his place anymore to worry about that. That message had been pretty clear. So now all his focus shifted towards her. She reassured him everything was fine though. ”You rested? What a miracle”, He said with a soft teasing tone in his voice. He could hardly picture it, but he was glad she was doing better.

It meant they could go exploring without her passing unexpectedly out for some reason. “You have not explored much yet?” She asked, while she started walking beside him. For a moment, he didn’t reply yet, as he grabbed her hand. An experience that would usually come much earlier in this kind of relationship. He enjoyed it a lot, so he waited to break the silence until he could see the river appear on their left. ”I haven’t no. I spent the past few weeks with my..” He interrupted himself. ”Kaz and his wife, Allison”, He corrected himself. ”Apparently they got married while I was with you”, He explained. ”Oh and they are Grand Duke and Grand Duchess of Rhoynar now”, He added sheepishly. It had been as much of a surprise as the whole marriage thing, to be honest.

Poor West. An adjective he would never actually use to describe the man. He was anything except piteous. If he wanted to, he could probably snap someone’s neck and have dinner right after, unbothered by it. He liked West because they shared the same goal. Keeping the Commander safe for as long as possible. Aside from that, he didn’t know if he would ever talk to him for any other reason. Quite frankly, the warrior scared him. But who didn’t? ”It’s not like you could send your cat, right”, He chuckled. He could picture it perfectly, Saggitarius with a little bag in his mouth, walking back and forth between the Heart and the Watch. Amusing, for sure.

Mort had some updates about his life as well, though he wasn’t really sure what to share and what not. There were certain things he didn’t want to think about right now. But he could share that his brother-who-was-not-his-brother-anymore (according to him) was now ruling a country. Which was kind of mind-blowing for Lexa. ”I swear I’m not”, He replied, on a more serious tone this time. ”I was as surprised as you are. They live in the castle now”, He told her. Meanwhile he was taking her down a slight hill, after which they had to climb some boulders blocking the actual path to the water. He sat down on the tallest one, his feet finding one of the rocks below so he could lean on that to keep his balance.

His laugh disturbed the peace of the forest when she told him she had taught Saggitarius how to sit on command. ”How did you bribe him into doing that?” He asked. There had to be more to it than the animal just obeying Lexa’s orders just because he was such a good boy. No, she had probably drugged him with something, or offered him a snack he just couldn’t refuse. The whole running errands thing was a step too far, she claimed. He could understand why. ”I mean I hope he has some dignity left”, He chuckled. The poor cat. The villagers would probably make fun of him and he wouldn’t even be capable of understanding their jokes.

After he had told her about Kaz’ newly required position, he could see how her mood was changing slightly. He regretted bringing up the subject. It was simply keeping his mind occupied all the time. Not only that little fact, but the whole event that had went down the past few weeks. His brother was a big part of his life, and he couldn’t deny that. Not even to her. Pretending he had no brother was impossible, and he wouldn’t stay true to himself. Luckily she redirected the subject to something else. ”She is very ambitious, and she is actually capable of planning out the steps she needs to take to reach her goals”, He replied thoughtfully. ”We didn’t really start off on good terms, but she tolerates me”, He continued with a smile. His gaze turned away to the water for a second. ”I don’t think there are any ducklings here. Isn’t that sad?” He mentioned, his tone amused regardless of the lack of ducks. He could surely ducknap some and release them here, right?