Here with you

Again he was overthinking way too much. It was a friendly fight. Nothing to worry about. There was no way he could ever manage to hit her. She had been fighting all her life, she had told him. Holding daggers before she could even hold a regular knife. With his inexperience it would be impossible to hurt her. But it was the thought by itself, that he was trying to hit her, that made him so confused. He just had to find that switch. Flip it without worrying about how it would change him. Because he honestly hoped it wouldn’t. Finally, he did what was expected. He took the weapon and attacked her.

The vampire almost lost balance when the sword was redirected by her daggers. He managed to stop in time though. He wasn’t even surprised. ”No, not with weapons. My sire trained me in hand-to-hand close combat”, He told her. The pace of those fights had been way higher. But they were ‘cheating’, as she would call it. ”I trust you know what you’re doing”, He said, after which he got back into the same starting position. He checked his grip for a second, then charged again. It was the same strike as his first one, but he expected her to redirect it in the same way as well. So using the moment of impact, he pulled the sword back from the crossed daggers before she could do so, to follow up with another swipe aimed at her side this time.

Now he had the actual sword in his hands, properly, and they were ‘training’, he could see how one could enjoy this. He could understand how they could get lost in it. As long as there was no actual blood and pain involved, that was. She seemed to be quite happy and enjoying herself though, and wasn’t that the goal of this? If that meant he had to swing a sword at her in the hopes she would be able to block or dodge it in time, then he would happily comply. When she commanded him to try again, he gave in. If he had learned one thing from Edmund, it was to take on a different approach if the first try failed. So he got a bit wild (not really though) and followed up the first strike with a second one immediately after.

When she dropped to her knees, the sword didn’t hit anything but air. The speed of his attack, bless it was still human, made him slightly turn as there was nothing stopping him. She got up while he also took a bit of distance again. Her compliment caused a smile on his face. “One more.” She said. He nodded, after which he now took a bit of time to not only check his stance, but also hers. Her foot gave away she had to be right-handed. She seemed pretty good with both her hands though, so his next move was only a guess.

Mort focussed his attack on her right side, so she had to move both of her daggers to block his attack. His true intention was to hit her on her left side again though, as he had a slight advantage there. When she blocked him, this time he went along with her redirection, stepping in closer and twisting the sword in a way that would at least cause tension on her left hand, her weaker side. From the moment he could feel the guard of the sword hit the crossed daggers, he pulled back. With quick footwork he took a bit of distance, before launching his final strike to her left shoulder again.

To his surprise, she simply dropped her dagger when he had put pressure on it. It was an effective way to make sure he didn’t twist her wrist badly. In a real battle that would be kind of problematic. She made it look so naturally though. Her instincts were focused on this more than he could ever bring up. But he wasn’t ready yet. He simply proceeded with one last blow, but failed to realise she now only had one dagger. Otherwise he would’ve stopped. Her quick thinking prevented the blade to hit her side, where he was aiming for, but she caught the razor-sharp edge with her bare hand.

It cut right through the glove. From the second it went through her skin, drawing blood, his pupils widened. The scent of blood could not be missed. Muscles tensed as blue eyes darted to the red liquid dripping down the blade. He let go of the sword, bending his knees lightly to prepare a leap forward. He could only focus on the blood, barely able to realise it was still Lexa standing in front of him. His vampire instincts kicked in, and they kicked in hard. A soft growl was audible from his chest, announcing the beginning of the hunt.

In not even a second, the whole situation had turned bad. Because of what he was. They could not train like she would normally with a human partner. From the moment there was blood involved, his true nature showed. Even though he had fed before heading to Vanaheim, he could not resist it when it was right in front of him. How was he even supposed to? The scent was driving him mad, pushing him to the far edge of his control and almost over it. His human side was almost completely overruled by the vampire always lurking beneath the surface.

The first time she said his name, he did not even hear it. He did not respond. All he did was breathe slowly, taking in the sweet scent of dinner. The second time surely had more effect. He was able to tear his gaze away from her wound, the drips of blood falling on the ground and leaving perfect red circles on the sand. He could see the discomfort, the doubt, the fear in her eyes. The vampire clenched his jaw hard, forcing the fangs to retract.

”I’m sorry”, He managed to say. He shook his head afterwards, while trying to focus on his breathing. A trick he had learned from Edmund. He rubbed the base of his throat with the tip of his index finger. Struggling for control, he took a step back. ”I’m sorry”, He mumbled again, not even quite sure what he was apologising for.

Fighting against his instincts when it was so acute, was hard. It took every bit of energy left in his body not to give in to the call of the hunt. On a daily basis, he had to deal with it. This was next level though. Especially because he had tasted her blood before. He knew exactly what would be the reward if he just gave in. There was nothing she would be able to do about it. She could try to defend herself, fight him off, turn her weapons against him. But in the end he would take what a monster would believe was rightfully his.

The monster couldn’t win. He couldn’t let it happen. So he did what he had to do to prevent it from happening. He felt numb, unable to move, while she took care of the wound. To not get tempted again, he looked away. The boy bit down on his tongue, in an attempt to further distract himself from everything. “It’s my fault,” He could hear her say faintly. When he looked back at her, he saw the red cloth wrapped around her hand. It repressed the pervasive smell of blood at least enough for him to ignore it more easily.

”No it’s not”, He said, his voice hoarse because of how dry his throat was feeling. He folded his hands behind his back, gripping on to his own wrist to keep them in place. This would happen in the future again, he knew that. So he wanted to show her she did not have to fear him. He was okay. He could handle it. Barely, but he had to. He would never hurt her. ”I’m okay”, He said, to the both of them. He had to be. Slowly he stepped forward again, hands still behind his back. ”Are you?” He then asked, genuine concern in his voice. She was the one who was hurt after all.

Slowly he could feel himself getting back in control. Not breathing through his nose helped a lot. It was that it all had happened so suddenly and unexpectedly. If he had been prepared, he knew he would have been able to take it much better. He hated it, the look in her eyes when their gaze met. She had seen a side of him he was not proud of, a side of him he wanted to lock up and hide away if he could. They had built some sort of trust, and he had violated that by almost attacking her. That realisation was a hard pill to swallow. He hoped she could forgive him.

While approaching her, he chose to hold his hands behind his back. It was the least threatening way he could think of. He only nodded when she answered his question. They could go into a whole discussion about it, but he felt drained. “I did not mean to…” She started to say, after which she interrupted herself. She didn’t have to say more. How could he fix this? The young vampire slowly got down on his knees, looking up at her, hands still behind his back. Showing absolute submission. ”I can’t change what I am. I can only learn to control it. I promise I will do better”, He said. If she didn’t believe him, she had the option to finish him right here and right now.

Being in public, away from the villa he had spent the last twenty years in, was a challenge. Edmund had warned him it wouldn’t be easy, and he had prepared himself for four years before actually moving away. Meeting new people under his circumstances, would always be risky. No matter who it was. His control would be tested over and over again. But he refused to let the monster control him or the choices he made. If he did that, it would be the end of him. The end of his humanity. And he didn’t want to give up on that. Not now, not never.

With her ability to read people, he decided to rely on her judgement. If she thought it would be best to end him, because he was a danger, a risk, then he would accept that. Of course his thoughts went to his brother. But if he couldn’t control himself around Lexa, how would he be able to do that with Kaspian? If he was better of dead, then now was the time. Before he would hurt innocent people.

However, the Commander still had hope. She dropped down on her knees as well, placing her hand on his cheek. He eased into her touch a bit, slightly leaning his head against her hand. He felt as if a weight was lifted off his chest. This time, he was the one who couldn’t find his tongue. After a short pause, he nodded. ”Thank you”, He whispered, a smile finally breaking through again. ”We should go back so you can properly take care of the cut”, He then said. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too obvious she was wounded. He was pretty sure he would get the blame for that, no matter what she would say.

The fact that she didn’t give up on him, made him feel intensely relieved. She still believed in him, and he realised he should do the same. Having her support meant a lot to him. He wouldn’t admit it out loud. He realised as well that this was moving fast, very fast. Last thing he wanted, was to get too attached to her. She still had a goal she had to achieve. A goal she would have to die for. But the pull she had on him, was just too strong to resist. There was a reason he had run all the way to Vanaheim, and it wasn’t to make friends with her people.

Now the monster had been conquered, he could shift his attention back to her. She was still wounded, maybe not that badly, but she had to take care of it so it wouldn’t infect. She went quiet for a moment, and it almost seemed like she would refuse. “You know,” She started off, weighing her words. “I don’t actually live there, though my place is… somewhat further away,” She continued. Mort couldn’t help but see the humour in it. ”You’re inviting me to your place now? I usually don’t accept that on a second date”, He replied, repeating her answer from before almost word for word.