On my knees

This was her life. Her reality. It was all way too casual for his liking. As if this was normal. To them it was. This was how their society worked. Violence and faith. It worked for them. To him, it was all ridiculously extreme. She had risked her life to prove a point. Making sure her position wouldn’t be threatened as much in the future. His opinion on the matter was so different, but he refrained from speaking his thoughts. There were more important things to take care of now. Like making sure she got proper help from someone who knew what they were doing. And keeping the monster hiding beneath in control.

When he was standing right next to her, a mix of emotions crashed down on him. He was feeling so much at once, and so intensely as well. Her presence caged the monster, as usual. But her blood was drawing it out at the same time. The vampire directed his attention to the guard, who gave him directions to the doctor he had mentioned. The pain sneaking in her tone, almost broke his heart all over again. With a little nod to the guard, he gently pulled her with him. The crowd luckily made way for them as they passed.

The vampire was clearly uncomfortable, but not a second the thought came through his mind to let her go. He wouldn’t abandon her. Never. Somewhere halfway he noticed how she was struggling more and more with her wounds. So he stopped for a second, repositioning himself. Without any effort, he picked her up from the ground. With her in his arms he walked on. Blue eyes focused on the road ahead. From time to time he checked if she was still awake. ”Stay with me”, He whispered when he noticed she was slowly getting weaker because of all the blood she had lost.

The burning sensation in his throat made this so much harder than it should have been. Cursed. Would they let them through if they had known his true nature? The vampire pushed that thought away. She needed him and he would do everything in his power to give her the support he had promised her. The support she needed. Her heartbeat was slow, struggling to pump the remainder of the blood around. The adrenaline that had kept her going during the battle, was now gone. She didn’t even protest when he stopped to pick her up. Luckily most of the people were still back at the main square, probably discussing the fight. Not that it would matter. He didn’t really care about her reputation at all at this moment.

The only thing that mattered, was getting her to that doctor. Now that he was carrying her, he could go a bit faster. He wasn’t really running, knowing the shocking movement would hurt her. It didn’t take him too long to finally reach the building that had been described to him. He pushed open the door with his shoulder, not bothering to knock. The force at which it was opened, alerted the man anyway. With only one gaze, he told him to put her on a table. Carefully he followed the instructions, letting her go and making space for the other to do his job. He didn’t go far though. His clothing was soaked with her blood, but the fear of losing her still overruled the damned bloodthirst.

The doctor started working frantically, mumbling all kind of things to himself while moving around. With his supernatural hearing, he could follow what he was saying regardless. She was bleeding too heavily, she had lost too much blood already. His blood-soaked clothing were proof of that. The man started cleaning the wound, fast but thoroughly. When he suddenly dropped everything, Mort looked at him in confusion. He threw a log of wood in a tin bowl, lighting the fire that was burning softly. Next, he grabbed a knife. With a suspicious gaze in his blue eyes, he followed everything he was doing. Whatever it was.

The metal was slowly turning bright yellow, as the blade got hotter and hotter. He still didn’t quite get what he was up to. That was until he grabbed it and instructed im to hold her tight. He could feel his stomach turn. Despite the nausea, he didn’t complain. The vampire grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the table. He watched how the doctor pressed the blade against the wound, cauterizing it instantly. Lexa didn’t put up much of a fight. It didn’t take long for him to realise she had finally lost consciousness. For the better. She wouldn’t feel the pain now. The scent of burnt flesh made the air thick, so he decided to stop breathing for a while. After treating the wound on her side, the doctor moved to her arm, repeating the process. Afterwards, he applied some sort of cream and started wrapping her up in bandages.

While the doctor was finishing her up, the vampire walked over to the front of the room again. His hands were trembling, his breathing was shaky. Right when he thought he would break down himself, the door opened and a guard walked in. He recognized the man from earlier. He seemed like someone Lexa trusted a lot. The male threw him a suspicious look, and he could only stare back at him. Finally, he spoke. ”How is she doing?” He asked. ”She’s unconscious. She’ll need lots of rest, but she’ll recover”, He repeated the words of the doctor. The man nodded, after which he turned back to the door. Outside, there were still people shouting. The dust hadn’t settled yet. It was probably the reason this man had showed up. To keep her safe.

Mort felt the same adrenaline going through his veins again. ”She can’t stay here”, He noted. This place was way too open. Too many entrances. ”When it’s dark we need to move her to some place safe”, He said. The man shot him an angry look. ”I don’t take orders from outsiders”, He hissed. This time, there was no Commander to calm him down. For a second, he could feel himself getting angry as well. A feeling that ebbed away almost instantly. ”I’m not asking you to do so. I’m asking you to do what’s best for her”, He said quietly. That seemed to get through to him, as he nodded. ”It shall be done”, He replied, the tone in his voice now only distant and not hostile anymore.

When dusk had settled, both of them walked over to the table again. She was still sleeping. Heartbeat weak but steady. They moved her body on some type of stretcher, after which he covered her with a warm blanket. He let the guard lead the way while he carried the other side. Once they stepped out the door, the streets were almost completely empty. Four more guards joined them, flanking the Commander as they walked back to the throne room. Carefully they moved her on the bed. Afterwards, the guards left, except for the one that had taken the lead. ”Now leave”, He told him. Mort bit his tongue. ”I can’t”, He replied. The male stepped over to him, his chest almost touching him. ”Who do you think you are?” He growled, quietly as to not disturb her rest. ”Just an outsider that swore her to keep her safe as best as I possibly can”, He said, determination audible in his voice. For a moment, the guard stared at him, after which he lifted his chin and turned around. ”I will end you if you break that promise”, He huffed, after which he left the room.

Mort sighed deeply. Today had been another emotional rollercoaster. Then again, would it ever be any different? To make sure he wouldn’t be tempted to bite her, he had to get rid of the scent of blood. Her bandages were clean, mostly. But his clothing was not. So he quickly pulled his shirt off, throwing it in the fire that was burning softly. After that, he walked over to the sink, scrubbing away the blood until he was completely clean again. Now that was taken care of, he grabbed one of the pelts that were scattered around the place. It made him smile lightly. She had a tendency to collect these, didn’t she? He wrapped the pelt around his shoulders and sat down on one of the chairs next to her bed. Keeping a close eye on her breathing and heartbeat, so he would be sure to notice if anything would change.

Honestly, he didn’t know what he was supposed to feel right now. The situation was so uncommon, no one would be able to give him any sort of advice. What had he gotten himself into. While he was sitting there though, gaze focussed on her, he knew he wouldn’t want it any other way. Today he had had a taste of what it would be later, when the day would come she would run out of time. Still, it was impossible to even begin to imagine how it would feel. When he would lose her forever, while he would have to live on without her for eternity. It scared him, now more than ever. Th young vampire bit down on his tongue again. Was it bad enough for him to break his promise though? No. He wouldn’t. She was worth it.

For a while longer, he was left alone with his thoughts. Until she suddenly woke up. Disoriented, which caused her to panic. He was too late to prevent her from getting up. A groan of pain sounded when her body punished her for her sudden movement. She didn’t stop there though. For some reason, she tried to get up again a second time, right after. Mort got up from his chair, not even slightly bothered that he had been in the same position for so long.

Gently he placed his hand on her shoulder, pushing her back down in the pelts. ”Stay down”, He said calmly, but a bit strict. ”You need rest. You were hurt badly, you lost a lot of.. Blood”, He said, forcing out the last word while a shiver found its way down his spine. Was she actually thinking it would be a good idea to get out of bed this soon? Or that he would even let her? The vampire had seen the wounds.. He wouldn’t allow her to risk her safety and health by letting her out of this room too soon.

Silently he scolded himself for his wandering thoughts. If he had paid more attention, he would have heard her heartbeat rise from the moment she was waking up. The panic that had taken control of her, had made her heart go wild for just a second. If he had been keeping an eye on her pulse, he would have noticed and he could have stopped her before she hurt herself. Unfortunately, he was too late. A sharp pain went through his chest as he saw how she was suffering. Though it didn’t seem to stop her from trying to get up again. The vampire didn’t know what she was planning to do once she got out of bed, and he didn’t want to find out either. She had to stay in bed. It didn’t happen often, but the man could actually be strict too.

It had the right effect. For a second she wanted to protest, but the look in his eyes was enough to stop her from doing ridiculous things. Instead, she apologized. Mort let go of her shoulder and grabbed her hand. His eyes dropped down to the bandages around her body. ”I’m just glad you’re still alive”, He whispered back. If he had it his way, he would never have to see her hurt ever again. But it was her way of life. He had to deal with that. After a short moment of silence, he searched her gaze again. ”Is there anything I can do for you? You can ask me whatever”, He then said, hoping to make her recovery as comfortable and quick as possible.

“This will happen again.”

The last words he wanted to hear. At the same time, the ones he had expected. The vampire hummed softly, to let her know he had heard her. He couldn’t find the correct respons immediately. So he just stayed quiet for a bit, while his fingers wandered off. To the inside of her wrist, where the puncture wounds of his first bite were barely visible anymore. Two pale little dots. Nothing compared to the many scars that had marked her body forever. Upwards to the fresh bandage of the battle. He touched it carefully, as the visual of the wound beneath flashed before his eyes. Further up, along her shoulder, collarbone, where it eventually rested in her neck. The marks from his second bite, hidden between the few bruises he had caused last night. He ended up touching her face, following the movement of his fingers while he was still thinking of a reply to her comment.

Eventually, he got up and sat down on the edge of the bed. He placed his hand next to her side, making sure he wouldn’t hurt her as he supported his weight on it. He bent forward, pressing a gentle kiss on her cheek, where he had just placed his hand. Afterwards, he hid his face in the curve of her neck. ”I know”, He whispered against her warm skin. He pushed himself back again, looking down on her. ”And I will hate it as much as I hated it today. It will hurt me over and over again, until the day you will be the one on the lethal side of the blade”, He sighed, pain soaking his voice. He bit his lip for a second to fight back the tears. ”But don’t for a second think I will turn my back on you and leave. We both knew it wouldn’t be easy, yet I made a promise to you last night. I’m not one to break my promises”, He continued, a soft smile breaking through the sadness. It was what he wanted, what he needed. He had never been so sure of that.

Today he had also realised how lucky he had been the first they day had met. That she had chosen to give him a fair chance. He still didn’t know what had made her decide he deserved one. He had ran into her and basically behaved like a complete idiot. For some reason, she had not plunged her knife through his chest. It wouldn’t have caused him to die, but he sure wouldn’t have stayed around for a casual conversation. Such a critical point in their relationship. The very beginning. How it all could have turned out so different if they both had let their monsters win. The vampire and the murderer. Because it was pretty clear they were each struggling with that side of them. Afraid to show it to the other, yet fully aware of the existence of the shadow that sometimes blocked the positives.

They were equally as dangerous to each other. But there was no other place he felt as safe as he did with her. Even if she had proven that her killer instincts were still lurking somewhere within her. Just as she knew the monster was still hiding within him too. Mort placed his elbows on his knees, and rested his face in his hands. He rubbed through his eyes, after which he pulled his hand through his dark hair. ”You didn’t have much of a choice though”, He said, turning his head towards her again. ”I won’t ever judge that side of you. You’re so much more than just a ruthless Commander to me. You showed me kindness, compassion, support and that’s what matters most to me”, The man paused, as he couldn’t help but smile now. His following words would probably come very unexpected. But he also knew he meant them whole-heartedly. ”I love you.”