On my knees

As soon as he could hear the door to her room open, Mort turned his attention to the hallway. There he was again. When their gaze met, he felt a shiver go down his spine. Of course he had heard the conversation. Though, he was none the wiser as to who this person was exactly. Only that he was one of the Guardians of Vanaheim Lexa had told him about. One that would perhaps be pretty pissed off and judgemental about his presence here, even though he had not heard him being displeased about it to the Commander.

When the male disappeared, Mort flashed back to her room at vampire speed. He closed the door behind him, yet he didn’t step further. He was well aware of the fact he had left her there, alone with an armed stranger. ”Are you alright?” He asked, worry lacing his voice. ”I wanted to go fetch West but..”, He paused for a second, biting his tongue. ”I realised I was not wearing a shirt”, He continued a bit sheepishly. He didn’t know what was worse. Facing the annoyance of the Guardian, the anger of West or the disappointment of Lexa. He was about to find out if he had made the right choice or not.

This tall man covered in war paint wasn’t nearly as scary as the one they had met in the Temple. Yet, from the moment he had opened his mouth and ordered him to leave, he had complied without any protest or hesitation. It was more instinctively. He had no explanation to it himself either. He had been armed and Mort didn’t for a second doubt the fact that he was probably as skilled with his weapons as the Warrior in the Temple. He was still a vampire though. Weapons would hurt him but not kill him. So why did he run? It was a complete shot in the dark, but he thought it could be related to the other being so much older. In the same way, he had always obliged to Edmund’s orders too.

It was still no excuse to justify his actions though. He could sense she was not pleased from the moment he entered the room again. So he stayed right where he was, standing by the door. Coming up with another lame excuse. “You let an armed man enter this room and send you away without a word of protest,” She said, clearly disappointed. Mort turned his gaze down and bit his tongue softly. He pulled his hand through his hair nervously. ”I know”, He said quietly, shoulders hanging low. ”I-“, He stammered, not really knowing what to say. Would ‘sorry’ be enough? ”I made a terrible mistake. How can I make it right?” He continued, finally looking back up again to meet her gaze. Damn, he really was a letdown, wasn’t he?

The disappointment in her voice made him feel horrible. He had let her down when she could have needed him. What if the stranger had had bad intentions? Fair, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stop him anyway. Mort wasn’t particularly skilled in combat. If the other had really wanted to kill her, he most likely would have succeeded. But at least he would have been there to try. Wasn’t that what he had promised? To stay by her side until the day she died, trying to protect her in the meantime? Keeping her safe? Two days later and he had broken that promise already. It was unforgivable.

So he didn’t blame her when she made clear that she wouldn’t forgive him for this mistake. There was no way to fix it, no way to turn it back. The vampire clenched his jaw as he could feel his hands tremble slightly. All his instincts screamed at him to run again, and it took him all his self-control not to. It was true, he was a coward. From the moment it got too hard, he only thought about himself. He would have to do better, as she expected. Mort nodded, too upset to speak up. Like a child receiving a lecture he accepted her anger and disappointment, hoping it would be the last time he would ever have to see this side of her.

The mistakes he made were kind of adding up to this larger pile of decisions he regretted. It was impossible to keep look at her for more than three seconds. He was feeling very uncomfortable, as the realisation settled in more. He would go out of his own way to fix it. But Lexa didn’t want him to. She only mentioned how she had expected more of him. There was no way to make it up to her and it hurt him. If there was one person he didn’t want to let down, it was her. And yet, he had. And now he would have to deal with the shame those actions had caused.

When she spoke again, he focused his attention back on her. He was about to suggest going back to the throne room so she could rest, when she patted on the bed. To his surprise, she didn’t send him away. The vampire hesitated for a few seconds before he finally found the courage to walk up to her. He sat down on it, folding his hands and resting them in his lap. For some reason he didn’t dare to lay down with her again. He still hadn’t said a word. It felt out of place to ask her questions now, even though he was curious nonetheless. For a slight moment, it appeared he would break the silence. But the air he had inhaled, slowly escaped his lungs again, and he closed his mouth without saying anything.

Out of reflex he wanted to tell her to stay down, but she seemed.. Fine. The expression of pain was gone, and she didn’t make any alarming sounds. It was a miracle. A blessing. Meanwhile he wasn’t doing that great. The thirst was annoying. Not painful yet, but all too obviously present. The fact that he was also struggling with the shame wasn’t helping either. At least she still allowed him to come near her. Even more so, she pressed a gentle kiss on his neck, while wrapping her arms around his waist. “You’re an idiot,” She whispered. A faint smile graced his lips. He only hummed softly while he placed his hand on top of hers. It was true, he sure was.

“I assume you heard everything?” She asked him. The vampire turned his head slightly towards her, focusing his blue gaze on her. ”It was kind of hard not to”, He admitted with a little apologetic grin. It hadn’t been his intention to eavesdrop. ”So he truly healed you? How’s the pain?” He asked, a question he had wanted to ask earlier. It appeared that she wasn’t in that much pain anymore, as she was sitting up. At least her wish to speak to the people would come true now.

The sudden appearance of the Mountain Man had sure left an impression. It felt like he still hadn’t left the room. As if his presence would linger for a while longer. Luckily it all had been for a good cause. The burns were healed and she was apparently feeling better. Not great yet, but better. It was all he needed to hear. When she mentioned speaking to her people, he huffed lightly. ”You would have done so anyway”, He noted, clearly not pleased about it. But he would let her do whatever she wanted, even if he didn’t really agree. At least she wouldn’t suffer tremendously while pushing herself so hard. So stubborn.

“But for now…” She started, speaking softly after which she pressed another kiss on his skin. “For now I’ll just hope you won’t run out again if West looks at you angrily.” She said playfully, obviously teasing him. Mort hummed offended. How dare she! With a hurt expression he looked at her. ”I don’t think West would give me the time to run”, He then said, lightly amused. After that he pouted. ”You’re mean though”, He complained. She wouldn’t let him live, would she? Good thing he was already dead.