Counting stars

''Peace can never last too long.'' Mercury retorted, this time his voice sounded more stern. Minerva could talk about going to war all she wanted, Mercury still wouldn't bug. There was no place in his life for war, if there was, he would not be the Commander of Peace. He would the Commander of fucking things up pretty badly. Yes, that would be a nice description. Maybe he should lay down his rank. But would the others accept that? Would the Mother accept it? After all, he had been doing this for so long, why quit now? When the thread of war was hanging in the air, didn't the people need him in this time? He would be a coward if he backed down now.

''We don't have to fight a war if we don't know who to fight with.'' He said, trying to change Minerva's opinion on the subject, but knowing that it would be a lost cause, he just sighed and turned his attention to the sky. Oh, how he wished to be a star right now. Just so he could watch the world burn and not give a damn. ''Your demon needs therapy.'' Mercury spoke, suddenly going back to his happy and cheerful self. As if he remembered that a Commander of Peace should never be this concerned. No, when people were afraid, all the needed was someone who showed them there was nothing to be afraid of. Not even when their heads were on the block.

What was wrong with getting used to peace? What was wrong with it? If people forgot war even existed, then what was the problem? All would be happy and all would be good. It was Mercury's utopia, but upon hearing Minerva's words, he knew that he was alone on that one. Not that it surprised him. ''If all would forget war existed, all would be fine.'' Mercury spoke his thoughts out loud, looking straight at Minerva. He wasn't kidding. If he could find something, anything that would exterminate all those horrible things war did to people, he would use it without thinking of the consequences.

Upon her question, Mercury looked down at his hands. Of course he didn't want to lose any more of his kind. He had found his place here, he wouldn't just give it up. He would fight for it until he couldn't get back up again. And even then he would try. This was his home, the only place that had ever felt like that. No one would take that away from him. Eventually, he shook his head, a little ashamed he didn't think of it before.
A little alarmed he raised his head again, a worried frown upon his face. When weren't her demons fighting? But seeing her like this, it was never a sight he got used to. ''Do you want me to..?'' Mercury didn't finish his sentence when he raised his hand, an invitation for her to grab it, for him to calm her down. Just like before, like they had done multiple times. Mercury just made sure to ask permission, you never know how Minerva would react.

Mercury would never forget. He had been living for quite some time now and had his fair share of wars. Every one of them different, but yet the same. The same smell always lingered around them. Fear, death, decay, hopelessness. It tore him apart, inside and out. If Minerva and he would ever switch roles, he would do a very poor job at creating war. He would probably let it go extinct. Mercury shook his head lightly. ''All my work for nothing.''< He mumbled more to himself. This peace had lasted long, very long and he was proud of that accomplishment, and now Minerva wanted to throw that all away. ''Quite the pressure you're putting on my shoulders.'' He then spoke a little more cheerful with that playful grin on his face.

Somewhere, he was glad that she took his hand and accepted his offer. He hated seeing her like this and knew that though it was only temporary, he would relieve her. Even if it was just for a moment. ''Then don't think at all. Just for a moment.'' He whispered, using his words to drown her thoughts out, to drain her from her worries and her demons. Mercury always felt something of what he took from other people, a part always ended up in him. And Minerva's always gave him a chill down his spine. But the vampire didn't back down, caressing her hand, he made sure she would be able to breathe freely again. No thoughts, no monsters. Just them and the sky full of stars.

His touch appeared to work, or Minerva had gotten very good at faking it. But he wanted to think of her like an open book, somehow he always pierced through it. Her eyes always had that kind of.. manic, the one where you weren't exactly sure if she was actually seeing you or not. Now that seemed to be gone. Mercury softly smiled at the sight of it, happy that he could help her like that. It wouldn't last long, but as long as they held hands, it would be alright. It brought him back to the old days, the first days here. Minerva had helped him through it, while the other guardians had been there as well, it was she who seemed to understand him in some way. It had had an interesting result, one that was now long past them.

Upon her question, his smile broadened. The thought of leaving here, leaving this place for only a little while. It already made him want to get up and get going. ''Where would you want to go?'' He said, completely skipping the part where he had to tell her that he indeed wanted to leave. Not for too long though, who knew the consequences of them leaving? Maybe this would indeed be the start of a new war. A Commander of War and a Commander of Peace on a roadtrip.. together. A strange sight it would be. But Mercury was living for it.

He had heard of the fire. He had been tempted to leave and check it out himself, but something had kept him here. Maybe because it felt wrong to suddenly disappear without a trace. And what if he left and all hell would have been broken loose? He would have been the one who had to calm everyone down, Apollo was a nice substitute, but that man had a way with music and healing, not words. The vampired nodded in understanding. ''It's better than that stupid heat of Valyria.'' He confessed, glad she hadn't brought that up as a suggestion. The vampire sat up straight, so he could have a better look at the Commander of War. He still held her hand and still tried to make sure to find her rest, one he found to desperately need as well these past weeks. Maybe he sould pay a visit to Apollo, see what the Commander of health had to offer him.

''I would love to join you.'' He confessed with a sheepish smile. What else was to be expected from him? He couldn't keep his mouth shut, let alone sit still for more than five minutes. If fate hadn't chosen this life for him, if the Mother hadn't been there for him, he would have travelled, he would have discovered the world in the hopes of finding a place that didn't want to see him dead. And it had always been so close.

Her words made him laugh, as if he didn't understand that she was threatening him. Of course he understood, he just didn't care. He knew Minerva wouldn't kill him, she still needed him for her wars, she neede him for guidance, she needed him for the silence the Mother no longer could give her. And he would be happy to oblige. Mercury didn't hold any grudges, instead, he tried to turn it around. Maybe, if he did something nice to the person who hurt him, they would see their mistake and try to live a little better. It didn't work every time, but it worked enough for him to continue his life without having to worry so much.

Eventually a soft sigh escaped his lips. Mercury let his gaze fall from the sky to his hands. ''I miss Her.'' He spoke after some silence, his entire happy-persona seemed to have faded. He was being honest, no faking, no lies, just him, talking. ''It's getting harder to keep those bad thoughts out again.'' Minerva knew what he meant, knew what he was dealing with. He didn't want to bother anyone with it, but it felt like she was the only one who could understand, hadn't she gone through the same thing?

He felt her tense up and instintctively he tried to calm her down more. He couldn't help it. He wanted the best for her and when she did things like that, those sudden hesitations, he always started to worry. Mercury understood her. Waking up the Mother was.. wrong. But it would make things so much better. He needed that affirmation again, that he truly belonged here, that he wasn't some kind of monster. The people around him already helped lots, but none of them could look inside his head and see the monster, slowly waking up from his slumber again.

The vampire nodded, a faint smile on his face. ''I know. It's just..'' his voice trailed off and he looked down at his hands. That faithful day, it had been both a blessing and a curse. Mercury shook his head, trying to stop himself from saying things he would later regret. He wouldn't burden Minerva with his problems, she had her own. ''You're right.'' He said, smiling back at her as if nothing seemed wrong.