Pro Memoria

Absentmindedly he let his hands go over the keys of the piano. It had been a long time since he had actually played, but this mind somehow always remembered this tune. It was like it couldn't let go of it. Kaz didn't even remember where he had learned the tune, but it was stuck in his head now, so he played it whenever he was bored and had a way to express it. Like now.

Should he have been surprised? Should he have known? Probably. But Kaz had been busy dealing with his own shit. Like not burning in the sun or not wanting to drain someone from their blood completely when he saw them. But now he seemed to have his impulses under control, at least for now, so he had some more time to spend on other things. Fun things. Though he let his hands wander over the keys, he wasn't really present. His mind was constantely wandering, worrying.

What if this would be a mistake that could not be corrected and she, no they both, were doomed? Why hadn't he confronted her earlier? Oh yeah. He was busy being a vampire.

He repeated the tune over and over again, looping it. His eyes were on the keys, but they didn't really seem to focus. Normally, Kruge would sit on the wing, listening along, making sure his surroundings were safe. But the crow had been gone ever since Kaz' transformation. It felt empty, like a part of him was missing. But Kaz was too scared to try and summon something, afraid that his powers were out of control again. The last thing he wanted was an angry demon on his porch. But that didn't take away that he longed for the bird to keep him company. How much he had hated the creature when he was with him, how much he longed for it now.

It took him a few moments, say minutes, before he finally sensed a different sound. A heartbeat. His fingers immediately stopped playing. The smell was enough to tell him who it was and if he still had a beating heart, it would have skipped a beat. But when he looked up, a whole different person was there. Kaz frowned, remembering what Allison probably had done. ''Would almost say you aren't real.'' He spoke in his classic moody Kaz voice. ''The hair suits you though.'' A faint smile tugged at the ends of his lips. He was trying.

onestly, he didn't really want the company right now, but Allison was a sight for sore eyes. And by the looks of her, it seemed she needed the rest. I mean, she was dressed in black. That either meant she was severely depressed and all the joy had been sucked out of her life, or she was hiding something. He had only seen her wear black once in the library and then she had been doing illegal stuff. And her hair was brown now. So who knew what she was up to?

Kaz raised himself from the chair, ignoring his gloves that layed on the wing. ''I could get used to it.'' He spoke in a soft voice, walking closer to her before pulling her in a hug. Her warmth was strange but welcome. He let his hands rest upon her shoulders before his eyes went over her face, worried. ''You look horrible though.'' He said after a few moments of silence. Like it hadn't been obvious already.

He was the best at cheering her up. Just look at their past. I mean, yeah, they fought a lot and yeah, he was an asshole, but he tried. At least, he thought he tried because of course his last comment wasn't really something that would cheer her up. But for him it was a way to tell her that he saw and that he cared. That he was worried.

Kaz smiled sheepishly before patting her on the head, because he knew she liked that. Not. ''You know me.'' He added before emitting a sigh. Of course she would ask him how he was doing. It was like they both wanted to avoid the topic. Kazb it his lip softly before shrugging. ''The usual.'' Which was far from a clear answer because honestly, he had no idea how he was doing. He lived from day to day and it was enough. ''You want to stay here awkwardly in a corridor or get moving?''

Kaz nodded, a silent agreement between the two that now wasn;t the best of times to talk about themselves. And yet, the wquestion was on his lips. Why Allison? Why did you do it? What on earth were you thinking? But he swallowed them and let her get inside. ''Won't it be better for you to rest than?'' Oh, how the tables had turned.

On her question if he was going to continue with the piano he actually showed a shy blush. It was faint, but it was there. Kaz let his eyes fall on the piano and cleared his throat. ''I was just.. lost in thought. Wasn't really playing anything really.'' he tried to excuse himself, letting a hand run through is hair. Though it didn't seem like it, Kaz was sensitive about his piano skills. It was one of the only things he still enjoyed in life, or death for that matter. Besides being with Allison that was.

He wasn't doing well, but decied not to tell her. After all, none of them needed the drama right now. Allison needed to rest and Kaz needed to think. Thinking had never really been his best virtue, but the more practice the more perfect. That was how it worked right?

The vampire sighed again, letting his tongue go by his fangs. Even after a few weeks now, it was unusal. It could still happen that he bit his lip out of frustration, just because he had forgotten his fangs were there. The transition still didn't feel complete, but they were nearing the end. Kaz wished Mort was here, he could at least tell him, explain to him that he was sorry. ''Maybe another time.'' Kaz spoke with a soft smile. His fingers were aching anyway. ''So, how was the trip to Falkreath?'' He decided to ask, already knowing what she actually had been doing there, but staying quiet anyway. Again, they didn't need the drama now.

Ah, Juno. The memory of the dog almost brought a smile upon his face. Almost. But it would be nice to see the mosnter of fluff again, Kaz liked the dog. He probably liked her even more than he liked.. no wait, scratch that. He just really liked the dog.

She went on, talking about finding a place for herself? What was so bad about his? It was basically a private villa. Until the owner would come back, that was. ''What are you looking for? A castle?'' He grinned, intentionally laying a few of the seeds at her feet. Maybe she would discard it, maybe it would get her thinking, but it was enough for now. ''Do you.. eh, want anything?'' Kaz then continued as if nothing had happened.

For some reason this felt all very awkward. Kaz could very much guess behind the reason but it wouldn't take away that right now, they had to get used to each other again. The vampire smiled weakly when he felt Allison's heartbeat go up. How hard it was for her to hide from him now.

Kaz shrugged as if he didn't much care, but on the other hand he would gladly join her. Castle or not, he would rather be with her than sulk around in this house all day. It was boring and getting annoying, he wanted to get out again, pick up his life again, or whatever was left of it.
Of course she wanted to talk. Kaz nodded, a slight frown on his forehead. ''Don't mind sitting down then.'' He spoke. Standing here made it even more awkward.