Pro Memoria

The shrug caused her to frown, but she decided to leave it there. Wherever she would go, he would always be welcome and she hoped he knew that. It would be strange, however, moving to a new place. This house held quite a few memories by now and her own house did too. She was planning on keeping it. Who knew when she could use a place to stay in Falkreath. Who knew when she decided that life was finally getting too much and she too needed a break from it. After all, by now she had forgotten what resting felt like.

“Is Mort back yet?” she asked, making way for the couch to sit down. Mort had left them on their own before Kaz had had the chance to make up with him. She would very much like to hear how the two had picked things up and bonded again. Mort deserved that.

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Allison shook her head when Kaz asked if she hadn’t seen Mort either. “I am sure he’ll be pleasantly surprised once he gets back,” she told him in a smile. Mort had deserved his time off, wherever it was that he was taking it. Perhaps he had a secret lady friend somewhere that he was getting some fun with, or perhaps he had just decided the quiet mountain life was his after dealing with the couple for a while. She actually wished him well. The man had saved Kaz and it felt like she was finally getting her Kaz back. That was, if she pushed away the thought of what he was.

It was weird. Because of how much she actually had to tell him, she started to fall quiet because she felt like there was nothing else to say. She was happy to see him again, yet anxious because of what was going to happen. What if things went wrong and today was the last time she got to see this precious man? A sigh sounded and she pulled her hand through her hair. Again. “So, how have… things been?” Had he killed the people that fed him? Had he managed to stay positive, for as far Kaz was capable of being positive?

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“He will come back,” Allison immediately told him. He had always been the most pessimistic person she knew, but she wasn't having it. “He left as soon as he knew you would be able to take care of yourself. Now it’s time for him to do the same.” As should she. But, no one had time for that, right? And especially after her plans had finally succeeded, taking care of herself would be a long way off. Perhaps once she had found someone to sit by her side. Because, Kaz wouldn’t. He would run at the thought of being stuck, wouldn’t he?

Allison nodded after Kaz’ words, throwing him a smile. “Enjoyed the peace and quiet then?” she asked softly, expecting him to say that he did. After all, it was Kaz who they were talking about. The pessimist himself who more often than not, seemed like he didn’t want anything to do with any kind of social interaction.

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She had wanted to take his hand to reassure him, but the fact that he wasn’t wearing her gloves made her reconsider, putting her hand back on her lap and looking down on them for a second. “You’ll get the chance to apologize to him,” she told him, turning her gaze back to Kaz. “And he’ll just be happy to have you back.” Like she had been and would always be.

He needed to get back. Wait… No, no. “To Valyria?” she asked. “But…” No, why? Couldn’t Larethian just let him be? “Can’t you just stay here?” Please. She wanted nothing more than to have him here. Even if it was for selfish reasons, because the coming times were going to be hard and she had hoped to at least be able to see him every now and then, have that reassurance. Remind her why she was doing all of this. If he took his stuff and went back to Valyria… She couldn’t travel much anymore and he would have to stay there too. Insecure, she bit her lip and looked at her hands once again. What a mess.

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Lareth would slit his throat if he didn’t come back. He had to live with the deal he made. A sigh sounded. “At least it won’t kill you,” she tried, but she knew that it was hopeless. As soon as they would find out, they would make sure the first silver item would find its way to his heart. A future she would much rather avoid. There were very few things that could kill Kaz now, giving him the eternal life. Whereas that normally would have been great as she wouldn’t have to worry as much, she also knew that it meant that they only had a limited time like this. She would grow old. Perhaps it was better if it was their jobs pulling them apart.

“I guess nothing can change that now,” she frowned. At least she would have plenty on her head. Plenty of things to keep herself busy. “I… Won’t be able to travel anymore, though,” she decided to admit. “So I’ll need you to come back to Rhoynar as soon as you can.” Please.

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Dragons. A shiver made its way down her spine. “How could I forget,” she sighed. After all, she had stood eye to eye with one. If it hadn’t been for Dacosta, she wouldn’t be alive to talk about it today. “Please do,” she told him when he said he had to be careful. She didn’t want to lose him. No matter the struggles they had faced and would face, at least knowing he was alive and well was priority over her own, selfish desires. So he had to make sure he stayed that way.

“Good,” she told him softly. “I… am going to come out about Giovanni’s death, officially taking over,” she explained. “So business will be… harsh. But I’ll get there.” It wouldn’t just be that. She would not only officially lead the group now, she was also going to have an entire… Sigh. She would be fine. It always ended up fine, so this time it just… had to work out. This chance was something she couldn’t pass on and she had help from unexpected allies. She just needed to not collapse under the workload.

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His skin touching hers was a feeling that always made her painfully aware of how it made him feel. His skin was cold, way colder than it had been before. A strange feeling and she couldn’t say that she liked it. She missed the warmth he had once offered, but she’d take this over not having him at all. This over touching his gloves, if only he could grow used to it one day. Would that day ever come?

Kaz was trying. He was actually showing her that he cared, carefully squeezing her hand after he said he would be here for her. Smiling softly, she nodded. “You can’t,” she told him. He could. There was a way he could help out, but it was something she wouldn’t ask of him. “But I will be fine, don’t worry,” she reassured him, though the tired tone in her voice didn’t make it too convincible.

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She needed rest. A sigh sounded, but she nodded. He was right. Her entire body was signaling for her to lie down and take the rest she so desperately needed, for she needed every hour of sleep she could get right now. Maybe the comfort of this house could help her actually get some sleep, so at least tomorrow she could go into the plans with a fresh mind, ready to take on whatever was going to be thrown at her. Softly, she moved her hand to his hair and pulled her fingers through it.

“I will,” she told him, before softly pulling her hand away. Normally, she would have asked him to come with her and join her, but the secret she carried with her, would only feel worse if he was close. She needed the rest more than anything now. So, she pushed herself up from the couch. For a second, she looked at him, a faint smile on her face. “Good night,” she told him, ever so softly, before walking away. At least he didn’t seem to know about anything that was going on. Right?

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