In the eyes of god

"Death is a sweet solution. But I rather enjoy living my life the way I do."

The softness of his lips was not something she had really expected to feel. He was such a cold and harsh person that she hadn't even thought that his lips could be so soft and tender. that his touches would warm her up inside and his hands would leave burning area's where he last touched her. It nearly drived her insane just being so close to him like that.

This wasn't how she had felt when they had played together as children. She hadn't felt this fire burning under her skin as he grabbed her tiny hand and run off from the maids back then. So why now. Why would she feel this way in this place..

She should have been laughing as he finally seemed to give up just as she found it getting interesting. But her eyes turned dark, almost dangerously furious when he spoke out her nickname she had left behind with her name. Opening her mouth slowly to object she knew that hiding it would not be possible. He had already seen her shock and her anger, he had guessed it. But how much was there left to guess?

"So you remember that much." She chuckled softly moving her face to his kissing his lips softly as she placed her hands besides his face leaning over him breathing against his lips them both nearly touching once again before she pulled away a little bit from the man under her completely at her mercy.

Without realising she soon layed beside him looking at him. For a second she almost felt like some fairy tale princess once again as she looked at him. Would he be her prince who'd safe her from life of misery and trouble? Nah that wouldn't happen. There was a fine line between fairy tales and reality and that line was big enough. The reality ment hard work for no pray and dying alone and tired. In fairy tales you'd live happily ever after with the man you'd choose to love for love. You wouldn't be married out to some stranger you never met. You wouldn't be scared or feel alone. All you would feel was happy and bright. Perhaps he lived in some kind of that fantasy life but she had never been able to. Her family had been harsh and unforgiving. She had been beaten into submission and tortured if she didn't answer a question 'ladylike' it had been a hell. And still she was being judged from running away from that sick life.
In silence she listened to his voice that seemed to sooth her for only a second before he created the distance between them again which made her sigh and close her eyes as she pushed herself up to look at him. "What are you thinking of." She spoke softly the anger she had just felt leaving her body for now while she tried to find his deep green eyes again. "Are you wondering how you know the image or the name of some low life streetrat? How you could ever be so low that you actually maybe once had contact. Friendship even, with some common thief?" She sighed softly and looked at him before pulling the blanket that covered her away from her thigh showing a scar which was obviously made by an burning hot iron in the shape of a family symbol. "You remember that atleast?" She whispered softly stroking over the scarred skin with a somewhat nostalgic smile on her lips.

"No matter how far I run, no matter who might forget me. I'll never be able to forget myself. My brother made sure of that."

he lowered her eyes a bit not wanting to meet his green gaze again. So much time had passed since she had played with this man. When he had still been no more than a little boy. She wondered, perhaps her father had always planned to wed her to him, or to some other crazy fool who would hurt her and force her into nothingness. Perhaps if she had stayed in that toxic house she would've found love and happiness or she would've died alone and in pain. There were questions she couldn't keep asking herself because simply thinking them hurted her too much. She had been lost too many times already. Why would she willingly let him in and loose herself once again?
"Dont.."

She bit her lip laying her hand on his nearly pulling it away from the mark before she looked into his eyes and relaxed her hand on top of his sighing softly. This man could never understand her. He could never be even close to who she was. What she had become over these years. She didn't want to be with him and yet she couldn't look away as he stared into her eyes. Yet she wanted to stay close and never let go of him. What was this for sick twisted spell he had put on her. Making her feel like she was bound to him.. This wasn't romance or anything like you'd read in those silly children books. This wasn't love. Perhaps a certain level of lust was involved but that was about all. Primal instincts taking over in moments of weakness. Something which made her even more angry at herself. She was a soldier in her own mind, not some silly little girl who wanted to satisfy herself with the handsome lord sitting on her bed. She would rather strangle him. Shoot him, hell she would even stab him rather than falling for him like some fairy tale princess only to find out as the clock spelled 12 that it had all been a rather unfunny joke. That her prince was nothing and her house unsafe. She'd rather protect herself from the risk of losing everything she cared for, which should be only herself, than falling into some mad love with a man she barely even knew!

But still his words twisted around her. The smell of his breath captivating her as she closed her eyes a shiver running down her spine, biting her lower lip till she swore she could taste the blood upon her tongue. "You don't need to remember, it's better if you don't anyway Reagan." She whispered soft a somewhat nostalgic smile upon her lips as she looked up at him. Locking away the weakness she had just felt she looked straight at him her sea blueish eyes locking in with his deep green ones. "Don't loose your head over someone like me. It's not worth it. Go to your home and live your happy safe life. I won't bother you any longer." Slowly she moved away from him pushing herself up from off the bed and looked down at him.

"Just forget about me. You've done it once before. It's not scary to forget things that do not matter."

She didn't understand this man. Why would anyone take that much time and interest in someone as pityful and small as her? She had spend her whole life searching freedom just to not be remembered by thoe she once knew. She had been so sure that no one even cared to remember her so why did he? Why did he how ever small the memories might be. She hated it. She hated that he actually seemed to care and whould rather have him just lock her up for stealing his money instead of talking to her.
"Listen Reagan." She began softly staring up at him for a second before sighing deep. "You know nothing of me or the life I have lived so don't even try to pretend you do." Harsh cold words left her lips setting up the barrier between them again he had almost taken down already. She couldn't be this careless around him or anyone. Why did he let her feel so careless while he was the most dngerous thing around here. He remembered her. Which probably ment he would also remember her family especially if he asked around. Sure her family wasn't the biggest or richest family around but they were dangerous and invluential all together. They'd hunt her down if they found out she was still alive just to save their own faces.

Leaning back she watched him order breakfast and she couldn't help but scoff. "Is this how you always treat criminals? If every lord acts this way I should become the biggest thief of Fallen Skies. Can you imagine. A woman holding that reputation." Softly she laughed and shook her head leaning back. "And all I'd have to do to get free and even some nice breakfast is spread my legs. Wonderfull." Sarcasticly she rolled her eyes bu leaned forward a bit hungry as the servant came back quickly grabbing a piece of bread from the plate.

Her eyes turned dark as she stared at him. "Yet politeness never helped me either." She managed to hiss arrogant and with a pulled up brow. He didn't need to tell her how he thought about the way she acted or behaved. She was herelf, she had fought to be this way and no one would ever change her way. Not after she put so much work in establishing herself like this.

The next thing he dared to speak only made her more and more pissed off and she had to clench her fists together to not hit him right then and there because god knows she'd probably end back on the bed again this time probably not being able to work herself out fo it. "If you'd like to know Reagan." She began coldly crossing her arms. "I know perfectly good manners. I only choose not to use them as they lead you nowhere out in the real world. You highborn are all up in your palaces and castles. Far away from the normal people. Sick people. Poor people. Have you ever thought about helping them with all the money you gained from your mommy and daddy? Sure you didn't. You decided to buy a fancy horse and give him some fancy wearables. But you forget that that shit can feed a family of 5 for two months." Angrily she stared at him. "All you are is just a lousy boy. A child. You haven't seen the things I have and yet you feel superiour to me. Just because of some fancy last name and money to swim in. You disgust me."

Now that was a lie and she knew it just as much as he would. She didn't disgust him. No matter how badly she wanted to. He seemed to hold her captive in her own mind and heart and all she could do was sit down next to him as he offered her tea acting like nothing had happened. He made her feel like the child she used to be. Perhaps that was what pissed her off most about him. She felt as if she was back in that rotten house with those rotten people. Back before she got her freedom. There where she got hurt and turned harder and harder. It was not a good feeling, but he made her feel it on a completly different level. She remembered the warmth the house had offered back when her mother had still been alive. Her father had never been interested in her or her older brother. But their mother had always been there. Before her uncle got his hands on her and she foolishly trusted him to train her and grow stronger. She had been a child. And a foolish one that was.

But she had tried to make it better. Had tried to live her life for those around her which she had learned growing up to ignore. A commoner was nothing more than vermin. Ready to be destoryed if it made them better. She hated the Amor way of thinking but in the end perhaps she also thought that way. Her hate towards Reagan almost seemed to prove it.. "Tea is good." She eventually whispered not realising he had probably been waiting for her answer and looked up at him. His eyes were gentle. The storm raging through their bodies had dissapeared and what they left behind was the aftermath. They both seemed somewhat broken. She sure as hell was cracked in every way possible. But perhaps with him she could learn again.. If she would allow herself to feel that way again. "Medici." She spoke soft. Her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"Skyrah Medici. That once was my name."

The words this man spoke to her were not those she had expected. She would've been more comfortable with him turning mad at her words. Instead he spoke cold forming a new distance between them she wanted to fill up imediatly again with words, but none came out of her mouth. "All i see from you, sir, is hatefull and greedy." She turned her deep dark eyes back to him laying her hand on his cheek. "You speak nothing of ill will of me, you try to take the only thing I have. My innocence dear lord." She whispered softly as she moved herself up again looking around the room. Figuring out how to respond to the words.

"So you took someone of the streets. Gave him food and shelter. But you force him to work for you sir?" She whispered softly turning herself back to him. "Is that not the definition of a slave?"

Though he did not seem like the type to own slaves. One could never know for certain. Nobles were known to hide their true selves very well behind deep masks. Yet however little she knew this man. He felt like a true and honest man. But perhaps her mind was clouded by his touches she could still feel his touches on her skin. "Reagan." She turned back to him. "How long do you plan on staying here. In my room. I require privacy and rest. A man in my bed is not a good thing for a lady. How ever low she may live."

Didn't he see. Couldn't he understand. With every movement he made and every breath he took he drew her in closer. He was like a spider slowly making his prey get closer. Silently waiting and when she was too close. When she trusted the ground she stepped on too much he would strike. He would tear her down and inject her with the venom in his words.

She stared at him. Her seagreen eyes locked into his dark green ones. "You're not sorry. And once again, I. do. not. want. you. here." Lies. Lies all the lies. She spoke nothing but lies to this man as that was the only way to get him away from her, before she moved closer to him.

"Why would anyone want to stay close to you out of their own free will. Unless he's just as cold and emotionless as any highborn. Only looking for more money." She narrowed his eyes his hand burning around hers as she felt the beat of his heart, it beated the same as hers. Fast and unsteady. As if they both had been riding for half a day. She didn't want to find any meaning behind it but how could she not.. It made her throat dry and almost seemed to burn as she swallowed. "I do not got any information about you. I can only assume based on what I see of you. I do not hold any memory of us. other than children's dreams. Perhaps that is where they are supposed to stay as well."

The hard line on her lips seemed to only harden as she listened to him. "There is nothing to forgive sir. As you have done nothing to need it. We both are just two completely differend kind of people. And we clash." She looked away breaking the eye contact between them as it almot seemed to break her mind.

She wanted to agree with him. Wante to get him away from her but fear was almost visable in her eyes as he suggested on leaving and she had to open her mouth wanting to shout but not a word came out as his apology followed. "Do you not understand Raegan." She managed to speak. "I want you away, because every movement and every breath you takes forces me to move closer." She looked at him nearly shivering laying her hand on his cheek. "Are you aware of the force you hold over me." She whispered staring up at him.

"I want you."

Had she gone completely insane? Had he fed her some crazy shit that made her act and behave this way. Before she realisded what she was doing herself she pushed to him moving her arms around his broad shoulder's and locked her lips together with his. She hated herself in this moment. She hated herself for making her own mind rush and get so close but she couldn't bear seeing him walk off, out of the room and into the world. She would never see him again and that. That was something her heart couldn't take.