On my knees

It was very unlike the Commander to let another person take care of everything, even if this person was Mort. While she leaned against the wall, she felt restless. Her eyes followed Mort in every move he made, carefully watching as Astral let him do what he needed to do. Normally, the Commander would have done this without even giving the vampire the chance to help out. Astral was her horse and had been so for as long as she could remember, so she could do everything swiftly without even needing to watch her response to what she was doing. The horse trusted her as much as she trusted her, so at this point it was mindless business. Or perhaps she had just learned how to pay attention only to the things that needed to be paid attention to. No matter what, she loved having something to do while her thoughts trailed off somewhere. Instead of standing here, feeling her nerves tingle as she watched Mort do all the work.

His voice managed to put the smile back on her face, however. He grinned at her and she laughed shortly, shaking her head. “What can I say,” she told him, “I raised her well.” Astral had always had a personality to laugh about, though the horse had stopped bullying her owner for the most part. After a few years together, she knew exactly what she could and couldn’t do. As soon as a stranger tried, however, the horse seemed to fall back into her own ways, testing them. Lexa wondered if the animal would be able to get used to a new owner if she died before the animal did. Though she knew the horse was one of the best around, therefore probably being worth the effort to bond with.

Somewhere, deep inside, the woman had always been attracted to everything that forced her to fight. The first horse she ever got was Astral, who had been a total fucking pain in the ass, but she had managed to get the animal to calm down and listen to her. The first pet she got herself was a damned Mountain Lion, who now showed signs of true predatory behavior. She wasn’t sure if she could keep the cat forever, but she wasn’t planning on letting it go without a fight ever. While her own life was going to be so much shorter than anyone elses, she fell in love with someone who had eternity to spend. A vampire. Someone she shouldn’t even get close to according to her people. So, she fought to change their minds. Because the more she saw of the outside world, the more she realized it was worth fighting for. It was worth seeing. While she’d never get a child herself, she wanted the children of her people to be able to explore that outside world instead of fearing it.

A smile appeared on her face again when Mort reached out to her. Exactly as she had done. Clearly less flexible than usual, she managed to get herself up the horse with his help, groaning softly as she changed position until she sat as comfortable as possible. “No need to hurry,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist and carefully placing her cheek against his back. A position she could absolutely get used to. “We wouldn’t want to fall off, after all,” she joked, smiling as she remembered how their little trip to the temple had gone. It felt like centuries ago, yet…

It wasn’t hard to just seem tired and exhausted, leaning against the vampire as they made their way out the gates. The words West had spoken still echoed in her brain, causing the corners of her mouth to pull up a little again. A part of her wondered what he would do when the next Commander came to be. Would the man stay loyal to the cause, or would he go back to the job he had once had, before she had come around? While she knew he would have made a good Commander, she was glad he never came to be one. For he would have never lived to his current age if he had. A Commander over thirty would be cause for celebration, as it would have been the very first. About eighty commanders had passed since the first and there had not been many, if any, who made it past twenty five.

A race horse? The Commander couldn’t help but frown at the thought, trying to imagine what he meant. Racing each other to the location you had to go to, sure, but… You wouldn’t breed a horse for that, right? “A race horse?” she asked, clearly not quite getting the idea of it. “Why breed a horse for… racing?” she followed. While of course, a horse needed to be quick, stamina in the end was the most important. Especially when you needed speed, you’d very rarely only be running for ten minutes or so. The horse needed to be capable of keeping up the speed for as long as possible.

Gold. How could it ever be something else? Without interrupting, she let Mort explain exactly what these outsiders did for fun. Watching other people ride a horse? It made no sense to the Commander, whatsoever. Riding a horse yourself could be fun, of course. And racing another person while riding to a destination could be fun, by lack of having anything better to do. But watching other people literally sit on a horse and run in… laps? Which were perhaps just very big circles? That sounded like the worst waste of time. Something these outsiders seemed to enjoy. Throw a gold coin between a bunch of lions and there would be one stupid enough to try and grab it, while the rest of the population watched eagerly. As if there wasn’t enough harm in the world to begin with.

“What’s with people and gold?” she sighed, after letting it sink in for a while. “Sometimes I feel like it is all they live for.” And that was one of the reasons she had decided to avoid the outside world, before her curiosity had won. People became dangerous when it came to gold. Like how Kaz had lost his life over it, as he had been stupid enough to betray her for coin. Something her people would, hopefully, never start doing.

If Kaz hadn’t decided to run away with the money, life would have been so much easier. How much better would it have been if she had been able to meet the brother of the man she loved, only to discover he had actually been a trustworthy man, rather than one driven by greed, who couldn’t even care about anything as she was about to drive her spear through his flesh? He had been obnoxious until the moment she had been about to end it. And she knew he wouldn’t have survived if it hadn’t been for Mort, so the boy would have actually been obnoxious until the very end. Great.

Pulled back into reality as he spoke, she wrapped her arms somewhat tighter around his waist. Softly humming, she couldn’t help but smile. “One of the things I do not want to bring into these lands,” she admitted calmly, biting her lip for a second as she fell quiet. “I think my people are better off without the endless hunger for coin.” This way, they were forced to help each other. To all do something that was useful to the community. No one was born into riches. The son of a smith was probably going to become a smith, but that still meant he’d have to work for it. And if he was bad, he was better off finding something else to do.

Money. Outside of Vanaheim, it seemed to be what the world revolved around. Coin was worth everything. People went to war for gold, would kill for it if given the chance. Kings and even kingdoms fell for nothing more than the greed of others, or their own. A miserable thought and one of the very few things that truly sickened her about the outside world. It seemed like they had forgotten how to care for eachother. All they saw was this coin, this… thing that could buy them all they wanted. Women selling their bodies for it, men ending lives for the promise of it. Gold was what would end their species, she was sure of it.

Like how he paid for her services last time. Lexa took a deep breath in, for a second opening her mouth as if she were to say something, but closing it soon enough. Her heart felt like it skipped a beat as it quickened its pace, her cheeks taking this soft, red color. “There is plenty you can buy like that,” she whispered to him, smiling wide. He was unable to see her facial expression, so there was no reason to try and keep a straight face as she thought back to his payment. They sure had a way of turning everything in a complete mess. And what a lovely mess it was.

He seemed to be able to control the horse properly this time, or at least for now. While she doubted Astral would put her in any kind of danger, one wrong move from Mort could lead the horse to make a jump, causing them both to fall down. An interesting scenario, for sure, had it not been that she was just healed and wasn’t in any kind of physical state to be able to save herself from the fall. The thought of breaking an arm and facing the Healer’s wrath actually scared her.

First she needed to recover. With a slight smile, she tightened the grip around his waist. “I know,” she told him softly. “But there will be a next time.” Even if he had to leave soon, she knew their paths would cross again. While they both had their own, busy, lives, there would eventually be a time and place where they could allow themselves to drop the lives they had, making room for eachother. Like she had tried to do these past days, showing him what life with her could be like. Something that hadn’t worked out as positively as she had hoped, but at least he knew what he was getting himself into.

By leaning against Astral, she made sure she didn’t stumble and fall once her feet hit the ground. While it was not as smooth as it could have been, she still felt quite pleased at the fact that she was standing straight. A soft smile was thrown in Mort’s direction when he told her he would take care of Astral. Gently, she placed her hand on the horse. “Be nice to him,” she whispered to the mare, who hopefully would do exactly as she asked, even if she didn’t understand. “Thanks,” she then spoke softly to Mort, before making her way to the door. Normally, she would have fought the idea of this, not liking the idea of sitting still while he did any kind of work. But, sitting down on something that didn’t move sounded like a good idea right now.

The Commander immediately found her way to the couch, sitting down and letting out a deep sigh as she leaned back, closing her eyes. While she loved the Heart, she could never truly be at rest there like she could be in the Watch. There were always people around, always tasks to be done. While here, especially with Mort close, she felt… at home. Alone. No one would disturb them here unless absolutely necessary. A lovely thought, even more so with the way she was feeling right now.