Keep one eye open

This conversation had taken a turn he didn’t like. He had expected it, yes. In a way. He had not foreseen she would try and actually talk him out of it though. He could understand she wanted to know why, though he hadn’t thought she would actually go further than that. The reasons behind it, were his demons that had risen from his past to come hunt him down now. How his mother had shaped him to be today. She had tried for years to get him to this point. The young boy had bent for her, yet he had never been broken. Until the moment he had collapsed on the deck of his ship, with the worst panic attack he had ever experienced. Because the pain the vampire had inflicted, had not only been the most intense pain he had ever felt, but because he had not been alone when he was going through it. His weakness had been on display for everyone around him to see.

And it had ruined him. It had knocked him down on his knees and he hadn’t been able to get up again ever since. So when she was done speaking, a long silence fell between them. His behaviour got more agitated, clearly. He repositioned himself in the comfortable chair, shifting his gaze towards the horizon. Suddenly, breathing was harder than before, as his throat felt thick again. He had gotten used to this feeling by now. ”It’s not necessarily about what the vampire did”, He finally spoke. ”It’s because of what happened after”, He continued. He picked up the glass from the table, inspecting the liquid for a second. ”And no, I don’t want to talk about that. I just don’t know how to recover from it”, He said, after which he took a swig from it. Damned wine. Where did the rum go?