On my knees

While they were walking down the stairs, he let her alone with her thoughts. They both had to consider this. What was happening. The only conclusion he could come to every time he tried, was that he just loved her. For a reason he didn’t understand. In such a short amount of time, she had settled herself inside his heart and mind and it seemed impossible to get her out of his system again. She consumed him in ways he hadn’t known existed. Even after everything that had happened, he still couldn’t imagine his life without her anymore. And deep down, he hoped she would come to the same conclusion one day.

Instinctively, he sought out her touch again. Her warmth spreading through his chest as he did so. “I’m so sorry for turning everything into a mess,” She said softly. The vampire suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotions. He could feel his eyes were tearing up, but he didn’t look away this time. ”I forgive you”, He said. ”I forgive you because I know it wasn’t your intention to hurt me. You didn’t know he was my brother. I believe you would make a different decision if you had known”, He continued. Besides.. He had made his own mistakes. If anything, he should be the one apologizing, but he knew she wouldn’t want to hear it.

The moment he spoke the words, he knew he meant them too. It hadn’t taken him as long as he had expected. On the other hand, it didn’t surprise him either. He wasn’t one to hold grudges over anything. Life was too short for that, even for vampires. Because she was still mortal. And Commanders didn’t live that long. She had always warned him about that. So why would he spent the time they had being angry at her? No. It didn’t make any sense. He remembered their conversation back on Isla de Juegas. How she had admitted she had killed more people than she wanted to admit. Even after that, he had never thought for a second she was a bad person, because he simply couldn’t see it.

Everything about her was beautiful. Her soul was pure and he could sense it. It was in everything she said, in everything she did. “Do you just have to be this incredibly perfect?” She said, a smile breaking through the tears in her eyes. Mort chuckled amused, tilting his head back for a second to get in control over his own. ”Don’t say that”, He simply replied. He proceeded to pull her softly closer to him, right in his arms, as he embraced her. He leaned his head lightly on top of hers, while inhaling her scent. Hope. The one thing he had come to seek here. And the only place he would find it, with her, and nowhere else.

The warmth in his chest was spreading rapidly throughout his whole body when she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head against his chest. He put his hand in her neck, softly rubbing the nape of her neck with his thumb. The tears that had been waiting, finally came out. He felt immensely relieved. Coming here hadn’t been a mistake. Her words made him weak, but filled him with determination. He wouldn’t let her down, ever. He wouldn’t give up on her.

”You give me strength”, He whispered back. A perfect balance. He had been right to follow his instincts. Coming to Vanaheim had been the best decision. For the first time in weeks, he had a feeling that everything would be alright. She had told him he would have to find a purpose by himself. Yet she had helped him anyway. His mind was so much more clear now. He wanted nothing more than to spend all the time they had left by her side.

After standing there for quite some time, he reluctantly pulled himself away from her again. Without saying anything, just enjoying the silence, he started walking again. They had to get going. He stayed close to her while walking through the remainder of the corridor, all the way until the front step. He could smell it before he could see it. It had rained while they had been inside. The pouring water had cleansed the land, and he felt reborn too.

The moment they shared, would forever be etched in his memory. He was humbled by the fact that she dared to let go of her emotions in his presence. He knew how hard it was for her to do so. Hopefully she would feel better afterwards too. Sometimes it was good to just let go. Even for a Commander. No one could see her here anyway, and they weren’t planning on going back to the Heart. Her tears had messed up the paint pretty bad, smearing it across her face. He made a mental note to himself. Next time he came here, he would take loads of extra shirts. They got ruined every damn time, or so it seemed.

“We actually both survived that,” Lexa sighed when they were outside. ”Pure luck”, He chuckled. It sure weren’t his skills that had kept him alive back in there. She whistled and from somewhere on their left he could hear hooves clatter on rock. Not much later, Astral appeared. The horse must have gone to seek shelter from the rain. ”Such a loyal creature”, He hummed, while softly petting the horse on her neck. At least she didn’t want to send him flying.

Without any protest, Mort accepted her hand again. It was more the feeling of being invited by her that made him do it than the fact that he actually needed it. The horse was not the smallest, that was true. But, he was a vampire. Something about supernatural abilities. When Astral started going, he wrapped his arms a bit more tightly around her waist. They were going faster than on their way here, probably because she wanted to get home soon. ”We’re in a rush?” He concluded, but he made it sound like a question too, hoping she would explain to him why.

Apparently they were running not only from the Children. He knew how vampires were more active at night. He could feel it too. How his vampiric side came out more when the sun was setting. It was in such moment the longing to hunt was becoming stronger too. Luckily he was quite able to control that feeling, even with a human so close to him. Monsters came out when the dark settled in. ”I had no idea they lived here, no. I read about them in books though”, He commented. Not the type of creature you would want to encounter indeed. However, if they did, he knew he would do everything in his power to protect Lexa.

Astral was carrying them through the forest at a speed he hadn’t quite expected. Or at least not for such a long time. She didn’t seem to tire out at all. He could see the Peak coming closer and closer every second. Lexa seemed to have taken a shortcut, because he didn’t recognize this path. Soon though, he could see the walls of the Watch in front of them. ”For the first time in what seems forever I’m actually tired”, He said softly. Not physically, but mentally. Though exhausted would fit the feeling more, to be quite honest.

Now his anxiety, stress and worries had been magically lifted, he could finally feel how exhausted he was. The past few weeks had taken a toll on him and he could now feel the full weight of it. With Kaz and Allison, he had been forced to push all those feelings far away. He had his duties, his responsibilities. There had been no time to feel tired. Here with Lexa he didn’t have to pretend though. So he admitted how tired he was. It made her laugh a bit. ”This time I might actually fall asleep, that’s how tired I am. Can you imagine?” He joked back. Either way, he was looking forward to just get in bed next to her and enjoy her warmth for as long as she’d allow him.

After arriving, she locked up Astral safely in the stable. Once that was done, they both got inside. Her house had the same vibe of safety to it as last time. Saggitarius was asleep in the living room, he could hear his slow heartbeat and calm breathing. Mort looked at the creature with a slight frown on his face. Should he be worried? Worried that the cat would maybe mistake him for his brother and attack him? Or would Saggs know that he was still ‘good people’, as Lexa had told him the first time he had visited.