Broken beyond repair

vr jun 29, 2018 1:21 am

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

Even in this sleep induced darkness the pain didn’t go away. It was like a whisper and a shadow that followed him with every move. And every time it whispered in his ear, every time he turned around to face it, it was gone. It was driving him insane. He had to learn what rest was and now that he finally needed it, it abandoned him.

The sun had already drastically lowered by the time Kaz showed any sign of life again. The vampire had been unconscious for almost half a day, his body using the blood of the girl he had fed on to try and heal any wounds he had. But it was a slow process and by the time he started waking up, none of the wounds had been fully healed. A soft groan came from his lips as he frowned, the pain waking him up faster than he wanted. Kaz shifted his head, trying to pry his eyes open.

The darkness reminded him of the cellar he had been in. Did that mean that his return to the castle had just been a hallucination? That the woman had him still in his grip? Hadn’t she broken him enough already? The thought that he was still stuck to that chair, the thought that that woman could walk in any moment and stab him wherever she wanted, made him sit up straight in a matter of seconds. Panic manifested in his chest as it was obvious that he could not place where he was, nor how he got here. Whatever it was, he wanted out.

All he wanted was to get off the bed, but his body didn’t comply. It was simply too weak, too exhausted. So, instead of getting up, he basically fell off, the cold ground not being a very welcome change. The vampire tried to get up, still panicked and still in the mindset that he was trapped, that he wasn’t safe, that was going to die.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 1:30 am

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

Her body was shaking. The room was dark and she had wrapped her arms around her upper body, trying to keep herself together. She couldn’t do this, not now. But the fact that Kaz had rejected her in a time where she felt like she needed him to accept her help more than ever, hurt so much. It made her feel like he had truly given up on her and that this all was truly broken beyond repair. And not just them. It was the boy himself too. He didn’t only look broken, but the look in his eyes had told her that the past few days had been an experience he would never forget. Tortured, broken. So many things had been done to him that she would never forgive herself for.

How it happened was unknown to her, but somehow she managed to fall asleep. Even if it was just for a short while, she was gone. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep, sitting up against the headrest. She still had her arms wrapped around her body and her knees up, as if she needed to protect herself from the world. She wanted to wrap her arms around Kaz, tell him that she was here for him and that she would never let anything like this happen again. But the thought that he didn’t want her to… For now, all she could hold onto was that he was alive, for as far as a vampire could be, and safe. And nothing could change that.

The sound of him falling off the bed caused the eyes of the woman to shoot open and immediately she pushed herself to his side of the bed, jumping off and kneeling down next to him. “Kaz,” she tried, placing her fists on her lap as she feared to touch him. Every part of her wanted to place her hands on his arm, tell him that he would be okay… “You’re home. Safe,” she tried, desperation in her voice. She wasn’t able to help him at all.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 1:36 am

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

Suddenly there was someone in front of him, sitting down. His eyes were focussed on his hands as he tried again to get up, acting on his panicked state he didn't even realise what the other was saying. He was stuck in that dark cellar, he was stuck in that moment beyond salvation.

He acted his human instincts, breathing heavily as he tried to crawl away from whoever was sitting in front of him. His back found the side of the bed. Strange, it appeared softer than the chair he was supposed to sit in. But it didn't stop him from trying to get away. ''..No, no, no..'' The vampire spoke franctically. His voice still wasn't the same, his throat was still burned and damaged. It didn't even sound like him. It was like a completely different person had taken over his body.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 1:43 am

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

Panic. Something he had helped her out of countless times as she had her nightmares. Now it was time for her to help and she… felt like she was completely useless. He moved away from her and she bit her lip, watching as he seemed to be frightened of her, completely unable to recognize where he was. Who he was with. Or, so she hoped. She followed him and seemed to think for a second. Was it… Would she only make it worse with her touch, or would she actually be able to help him? She had to think it over for a second, but decided to take the chance. She bent forward, placing her hands on his shoulders, which had seemed mostly untouched. Or at least, healed up if they were.

“Kaz, you’re home,” she tried. Her voice was weak and she could feel the tears run down her cheeks again, but she was here. All she wanted was for him to calm down again. Because while he was home physically, she felt like he was as far away from home as he could be mentally.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 1:52 am

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

The pain was whispering in his ear again, telling him how this all could not be real, how this all was just a figment of his imagination. Kaz believed it, after all, it had been the pain that had carried him through the last few days. Not himself, no, he was weak and nobody. He couldn't even carry himself even if he wanted to. He let himself get controlled by the pain and his panic, he let himself think that this was the same hell had been in for the past few days.

A hand on his shoulder, a soft touch. Something entirely different than a silver dagger or a stake. It didn't bring any pain with him. The whispers stopped, instead, he got confused. The frown on his forehead grew as he again shook his head and was met with dizzyness. ''That's a lie.'' He whispered, staring to the wall right in front of him. It wasn't the same wall as the one in the cellar. ''I don't have a home..'' The words were almost unhearable, as if he didn't want them to speak but was pushed to do it anyway.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 1:57 am

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

‘I don’t have a home.’

This must be what he had felt like, as the words felt like he stabbed her right in the chest. She took a deep breath in, in an effort to regulate her breathing. A failed effort, but at least she tried. This seemed to be the theme of today and probably the days to come. She would fail, but at least she tried. At least she wanted to do the right thing, even if she was completely miserable at doing so. Even if she wasn’t home to him, while he was all she needed to call somewhere home. It hurt. But, she needed to push that feeling away. Her feelings did not matter. Not right now.

“You do,” she answered, her voice still barely more than a whisper. “You are.” He was home. Perhaps the castle wasn’t the best place in the world, but they had said that this room was their one place they could truly call home. No one was allowed to enter. It was their little space. And she had no clue where else to bring him. “No one is going to hurt you,” she whispered. Please, Kaz.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 2:02 am

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

What was he to do? What was he to believe? In these past days his mind had been meddled with, broken, altered, perhaps even partly brainwashed. All because he hadn't been strong enough, like always. That thought only hit harder. He wasn't strong enough, he never would be. He would keep on disappointing people and he would run out of second chances. Like always.

Her voice was completely different from that of the woman. It was calm, but in a defferent way. It didn't house threats with every word she spoke, they weren't meant to stab him in the back. It more looked like Allison actually tried to help. But why would she? She was only doing it for personal gain, he was sure of that. The dizzyness got worse and he grabbed his head with his hands. He couldn't do this, he wasn't made for this. He was only made to fail.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 2:10 am

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

If they had been able to read each other’s mind, things would have been so much easier. As she was afraid of being a complete disappointment to him, having broken her promises of keeping him safe. Of looking out for him. He was afraid that none of her intentions were real. And perhaps, a few weeks ago, she would have wondered the same herself. But, looking at him now, she knew that there was no way she could walk away from this. He was hers and she was his. And she was not planning on letting that go.

The vampire grabbed his head and she had to keep herself from panicking as she gave him a careful tug on the shoulders. “Kaz,” she whispered. “You’re going to pull through this.” What else could she say? What could she do? She was useless, but she wanted to be there for him. As much as he allowed her to, at least.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 2:15 am

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

He didn't only feel weak mentally, his body was still a mess. The wounds didn't seem to heal and with every second that passed while he was awake, it was only detoriating even further. Not only had the dizzyness caught up, he could feel his hands starting to shake, telling him that if he kept in this position any longer, he was probably going to faint again. So, as smart as he was, he dropped his hands on the floor and tried to get up. Again, to no avail.

He wanted to get out of here, he wanted... what did he want exactly? The vampire eyed the door, one step outside felt like one step too much. Everything felt like too much. By now, he had managed to get on his knees. But his body made it clear he wasn't going to get much further without help, as it slumped against the side of the bed and black spots appeared before his eyes. Kaz groaned, whimpered even as a sharp pain shot through his body the moment he put weight on his left leg. He wasn't going to pull through this, he wasn't made for this.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 2:25 am

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

She sat back a bit as she watched him struggling to get up. Her nails were digging into her legs as she watched, trying not to interfere. He didn’t seem to appreciate her company, not even in the slightest. They were back where they had once started and she had no idea if this was ever going to be fixable, but she was going to try. For now, she thought that she needed to let him try, realize that he had nowhere to go. Fight. Flight. Surrender. She needed him to get out of the flight state and surrender to his situation.

Carefully, the brunette stood up as he seemed to sit quiet for a second. “Let me help you,” she spoke softly, reaching her hand out to him. Keeping her voice low, try not to trigger anything. Until they had spoken about what had happened to him, she couldn’t expect anything. She knew he had his trauma’s before and the current events probably had only made new ones. She was going to keep that in mind. She had triggered his panic before and she refused to do so again.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 2:30 am

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

He stared right in front of him, aimlessly while he tried to get the black spots away. But only seemed to get worse. Shaking his head was a horrible decision as well and it truly felt like he was going insane right now. There was no way he could get out of this, he simply didn't have the strength and his pride was long gone. All what was left was a pathetic mess who couldn't even take care of himself.

Allison reached for him, his eyes slowly averted from the wall to her hand, looking at it as if it was a predator that was about to attack him. Who wouldn't in this situation? He was but a lamb ready for slaughter. And he would let himself get slaughtered. But if he was to die, then he didn't want to die on this cold ground. It seemed to take minutes before he finally grabbed her hand, trying to pull himself up. Once standing, he almost immediately lost his balance again, falling backwards on the bed. It was only then that he realised that the scource of his dizzyness and the feeling that he was fainting again, had come from his leg. As it had started to bleed again.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 2:47 am

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

Never had she thought she’d actually care for someone to the point where his pain actually physically hurt her. Where she’d sit in tears, just because she knew she was unable to help. While their wedding had come too early, the ring around her finger was what kept her going now. What kept her faith up that one day, he would trust her again. That he wouldn’t look at her the way he did now. Like she wasn’t his home, but the predator lurking in through the window. And even though that was how he saw her right now, he still accepted her help. She gave him a soft pull as he grabbed her hand, after which he landed on the bed. She just stood there, watching him as she grabbed her own arm, trying to keep everything together. She was too weak to help, but she’d try. For him, she would do anything.

Carefully, she took place on the bed, sitting besides him. She wouldn’t touch him, knew better than that. “Do you want me to get you… something to drink?” she asked, biting her lip after the question. It was something she had kept uninvolved in before. She had no idea when he fed and he did it out of her sight. She didn’t forget about the fact that he was a vampire. He was immortal, he didn’t have a beating heart and his touch was cold. She did, however, like to forget what he fed on. But, this was where she needed to get over herself. If he needed to feed to help him heal, she would have it arranged.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 1:01 pm

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

It had been scientifically proven that a bed lay more comfortable than the floor, or a chair for that matter. As soon as his back hit the soft matress, the vampire seemed to relax at least a little bit. The woman who had broken him would never do such a thing, wouldn't she? Maybe this was all still a test. Give him comfort, then take it all away again, just for the fun of it. His eyes found Allison's. They changed looks, his full of doubt, perhaps even suspicion. What if she was in on this? What if she just wanted him to suffer.

His head fell back on the pillow and for a moment it seemed like he had passed out again. But the pain was too real to let him slumber, to let him even think of rest. Her words were vague and again it took him longer than usual to reply. Kaz softly and slowly shook his head. He didn't want to awake the monster that he was even further. He would refuse. If it would be the death of him, so be it. Anything better than to live as a walking disappointment who constantly reminded himself that he would never be good enough.

BY MITZI

vr jun 29, 2018 1:25 pm

Surrounded, but always alone

So pick a place, pretend it's home

The higher you climb, the further you fall. But don't be ashamed of wanting it all. Cause the view from the top is beautiful but fleeting. Looks can be deceiving

The lover slash hater of vampires. For most of her life, she had wished them dead. They were creatures of the night. An abomination of nature in every way. Created from a curse, living life like parasites. Draining the life of innocent humans, to ensure their own. It was pathetic. There was no creature more despicable than theirs. This voice in her head kept repeating these sentences. About how it would never stop. How every vampire would end up like the woman had. The one who had tortured him so. Isabella was her name, as she had seen on the letter that Mort had shown her. She was the true face of vampirism. Was that the monster Kaz had inside him, waiting to take over?

But then she looked at him, broken and bruised. Only parts of him left on the bed here, others he had lost on his way. This wasn’t the man she had fallen in love with, but this for sure wasn’t a monster either. What was left of him and what he was going to be would play an important part in her future opinion on the curse. For now, however, she could only hope for the best. Hope that the man she had fallen for, would be here to sweep her right off her feet again. But to do that, she first needed to get him back on his.

“If you need anything,” she started, moving so she could place her back against the headrest again, taking a deep breath in before letting it out in a deep sigh. “I will be right here.” And she wasn’t going to go anywhere.

NOTES, ~
TAGS, love

FL*

vr jun 29, 2018 1:32 pm

The pull on my flesh was just too strong
Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs
Better not to breathe than to breathe a lie

In a few days his mind had been twisted and entangled, it had been poisoned and it had been damaged. It would only be a matter of time before the true cracks would start to show. What he now tried to keep inside, what he limited to thoughts, would soon be words that would flow over his lips and he would spread the poison he had been fed. Like the true miserable person he was.

The vampire wanted to turn around, face something else than the woman sitting across of him. But he was all out of energy, he was all out of life. So he stayed put, like his whole body had gone numb and he couldn't move a muscle anymore. She told him she was there for him, that whe only needed to say one word and she would get it. But why? Only to get him back on his feet as soon as possible so she could use him again? His iceblue eyes found hers. ''Why are you even here?'' He managed to whisper, flinching slightly as he felt how his throat protested to every word he spoke out loud.

BY MITZI

Broken beyond repair