Weak, that was what he was. Not only phisically, mentally was even worse. The woman had broken him within days, she had thrown his pride away, twisted it's neck and feasted on it. And she had made him watch. Where he always had believed he was strong and that nothing could ever get to him, the woman had proven him wrong. Within days. It was pathetic and sad. He had come so far, he had climbed his way up and when he finally was at the edge, someone had pushed him right back down.

There was a silence between them once more, the air had become static, or at least for him while he shifted his gaze away from Allison. Instead, he looked outside the window. It was dark out, he should be doing things now, not lay in this bed and hope better times would come again. It was like he had totally forgotten already what had happened the first time he had tried to get up. It didn't stop him from trying again. The vampire groaned as he put weight on his arms, trying to get up. It was slow and it was stupid. He would be able to set one step and then he would fall again. He had discarted Allisons'question, forgotten that she had even asked him something. He just wanted to get away from here, away from everything.

There was that soft touch again, the one that compelled him to get back down again. It was so much different from the things he endured the past days. It didn't feel right, it felt like her touch wasn't even real. It couldn't be, could it? Kaz waited for it to turn cold or for it to start hurting him. But it didn't. It kept being the same, her warmth was in such a contrast to his cold skin, to the cold he was used to now and the cold he deserved.

With a vague, glazed look in his eyes he stared at her as he slowly let himself fall down on the bed again. Kaz didn't understand. There was so much wrong with this situation that he couldn't even grapple if this was real or not. Maybe he had passed out again and this was a fever dream. But the only words he heard how she basically locked him up again. Suddenly, there seemed to be some sort of resist in his eyes, as if the old Kaz fought back for his body, but that look quickly faded away when he remembered himself othe consequences when he would resist. She would hurt him, she would make sure he suffered. No. Allison wasn't this woman. But how could he be so sure of that?

The stench of his own blood filled his nostrills again. He didn't need to inspect his body to know where it was coming from. The stake had done the most damage, tearing open old scars and destructing his leg from the inside. Splinters were still there, making themselves known with every move he made. But he couldn't get it over his lips to tell her, he deserved to suffer. After all, the woman had only shown who he really was. Just an empty shell.

Allison moved away from him, giving him breathing space hdidn't need. The blood coming out of his leg started to spread over the linnen, creating a dark stain. She asked him to rest, she almost seemed to beg of him. How could she do that? She wasn't as low as him, she shouldn't be the one begging. He should. He should be on his knees right now and beg for his life. But not to live on, no. He would beg to die. ''I can't.'' He replied to her words with a mere whisper. The pain was too much to lay still and too overwhelming to do anything. It was like he was stuck in a limbo of pain, where everything he did was never good enough. Just like him.

He rather curled up and die right now, that's how far the woman had driven him back into his mind. The poison was strong and it would take years, maybe if not forever until he had finally gotten it out of his system. If he even allowed it to get out. Right now, the poison felt like the only thing that he truly could tell was real. It wasn't comforting by the slightest, but it was something he could hold on for. For better or worse.

The though of her getting close, to see what kind of mess he was, it frightened him. The vampire shook his head, immediately grabbing it afterwards as he felt the room spinning again. The monster inside him told him to feed, told him to do something about this situation. But his mind held him down and kept him paralysed. The battle inside him was one he couldn't win, maybe one he didn't even want to win.There were many things on his mind, but all of them unspeakable. All of them destined to hurt instead to heal. Kaz turned on his side, releasing a soft sigh paired with a whimper as he could feel every muscle in his body ache. As if his own body was telling him to give up.

It was now that his mental state had begun to detoriorate so badly that he didn't even care about what he was thinking anymore, or what kind of effect it had on him. He didn't even realise he was sobbing until moments later that it already had begun. The vampire bend his knees towards his chest, trying to bury his head into the matress. He wanted to suffocate, he wanted to disappear, he wanted to die.

She asked him what he wanted. A thousand thoughts immediately jumped to those words like hungry predators, tearing them apart before his eyes, telling him that he shouldn't accept her help, that he didn't deserve it. His shoulders jolted the more he cried. The salt of his tears mixed with the blisters on his lip, causing more damage than good. He couldn't even cry without suffering. ''Let me sleep... Let me go..'' Kill me. He managed to hold the last words in. If sleep was the closest thing he could get to that meant he no longer had to think or feel the pain, so be it. He didn't care if she put a needle in his neck or knocked him out with the heaviest book she found, or if she would just simply brush his hair until he calmed down himself. He wanted to be gone.

Would she understand a situation that he himself couldn't even understand? Or was the problem here that he didn't want to understand, that his mind blocked him off the thoughts that would make him realise all of this wasn't real, that he wasn't broken. But he was and everything he did was clear evidence that he was. There was no pride, no fire, no will to continue on fighting. He was but a shell of what he once was. Broken in mere days. Pathetic.

He wanted to get this over with, he wished for the darkness that he knew he couldn't get. He was a vampire and vampires didn't earn that luxury. As a vampire he didn't earn anything. Her shadow casted over him, giving him the feeling that he was once again inferior to whoever he was in company with. If he could curl up further, he would do that. Her sudden fingers running through his hair scared him, making the vampire flinch before his brain registered that this wasn't an attack. At least, not yet. Kaz opened his eyes, staring forward to the wall again. The sobbing seemed to town a little bit, but the tears kept flowing. ''You should.'' He whispered almost silently, noting to himself that these were not the words he wanted to say. But the poison did its work.

Many things he had endured, many more were to come, but this, this was the cherry on top of the cake. Or so, he thought. Where he would heal physically and would appear as nothing was wrong, his mental state was an entire different conversation. There hadbeen things in the past that tried to crack his will and his pride, and there had been things that had almost succeeded. He had scars, he wore them with pride to see that he couldn't be broken. But now, now it seemed that those scars had been nothing but wounds pretending to be scars. And they would love to bleed.

Information flooded his senses, pain becoming worse and then dying out again with every sob. He wasn't just a mess, he wouldn't be fine in a couple of weeks. This would take years. And would Allison allow that? Would she care enough and would she stand it for so long? Maybe he stayed like this until she died, maybe then he would realise what he had done and maybe then he might snap out of it. But that was not today, nor tomorrow. ''You should.'' He repeated again between the sobs, wiping the tears away with the hand that hadn't been damaged. The ink was still on his other hand, cracked, a perfect example of what had happened to him. ''It's not worth it.'' The words came out slowly, the poison dripping from his lips. The vampire shook his head, damning himself for doing it as he felt how things started to spin just as things had calmed down. ''I'm not worth it.''