She was lying. That was what was going through his mind. He honestly thought she was lying. After everything they had been through, after everything she had already said. Suddenly, their honeymoon felt like it had been ages ago. Like it was a past long forgotten. Because, while it had only been days since they had returned, so much had happened. So much had changed. And perhaps he would never be the same guy he had been there. Everything between them had changed when everything inside of him had. Happiness was not meant for them, but she would damn try to give him as much of it as possible. The more he suffered, the more she felt like she was a failure. She would try anything in her power to make him happy again. Step into hell to save him, to pull him out of it. Because he deserved bliss, even if it wouldn’t find it in her lifetime.

As he had turned around, she had placed her hands on her lap, carefully watching him as he had placed his hand on her knee. After he lost consciousness, she took his hand and, as careful as possible, placed it back on the bed, so she would be able to move. Carefully, she moved back a bit, creating some space between them again. Everything was different now. But they would find a way to make it work. For now, however, his recovery was her one and only priority. So she stepped off the bed and took her journal off the nightstand. It hurt her heart when she ripped a page from the book, but she needed to write this down and she was not, under any circumstance, going to give someone her entire journal. She started writing down the titles of some books, including the writer whenever she remembered who had written it. The books she wrote down seemed to be completely unrelated. One was about killing a vampire, while another was about the treatment of wounds with natural herbs. About five titles, of which she remembered three writers, were written down on the piece of paper. She ended the list by adding her signature at the bottom of the page.

As quietly as possible, she had walked out the door, looking around. She stood by the door for a bit, carefully listening if there was no sound coming from her bedroom. Luckily, Kaz seemed quiet for now. A maid came walking and Allison greeted her with a smile, before handing the girl the note. “Please give this to Gareth and tell him to deliver these to me as soon as he can.” The girl nodded and made her way through the hallway, after which Allison made her way back inside the room, taking her journal and finding the page where the recipe of her old painkiller was found. The vampire venom wasn’t going to be of any use anymore now, but perhaps she could find something else? Unconsciously, she started tapping the pencil on the book.

---

The books arrived with a soft knock on the door and almost immediately, Allison put down her journal and made her way to the door as quietly as possible. As she opened the door, she locked gazes with Gareth. An unamused face, a few books and… a bottle of wine. She couldn’t help but laugh as she closed the door behind her, placing her back against it as she took the stack of books from him, the bottle of wine balancing on top of it. “Thanks, Gareth,” she told him, a faint smile on her face. The guard had started off on a bad foot, but was starting to grow on her the longer they worked together. ‘You might need the wine,’ he told her with a smirk, causing the Duchess to roll her eyes, though the smile didn’t leave her face. “I might,” she agreed. She knew exactly why he did this. He was aware that there had been bottles of wine magically disappearing lately. And he was well aware who was to blame. Even in this dark moment, she couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that he was merely trying to help, yet lecturing her silently. “Thanks,” she spoke, before she turned around and had him open the door for her. He offered his help, but she told him that Kaz was asleep. That was enough for the man to close the door behind her, so she could walk up to the bed, still balancing the wine on the stack of books.

Somehow, somewhere, she had dozed off. Sitting with her back against the headrest again, she had made a bit of a mess. There were about two books in the bed, a pencil, her own journal and a dozen of ripped notes. They were all scattered across her lap, covered in her own handwriting. Next to the bed were three more books, which probably had fallen off during the night, as they were lying open, pages slightly bent from the way they had landed. The bottle of wine was standing next to them, untouched. The candle on the nightstand had stopped burning long ago, leaving the room dark until the sun finally started to make its way back up again.

By the time the brunette opened her eyes, the sun was far up. An uncommon occurrence for her, but she had been reading until late in the night, early in the morning perhaps, so it was no surprise. Her head hurt and her face was quite possibly still a mess, but she didn’t really care. Instead, her eye fell upon a familiar creature, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. She couldn’t help but smile at the bird, who seemed to pay no attention to her, only wait for his master to wake up. She sighed deeply, pulling her hand through her hair, before she started organizing the notes, splitting those she didn’t need from those she did. The ones she didn’t need ended up on the floor, while the others were kept inside a book. She made sure the books were all neatly stacked next to the bed, except for the one she decided to open, carefully reading its content until Kaz would show any sign of awakening.

---

Holy Basil. How could she have forgotten about the plant? It was one that definitely had not been acquirable in Falkreath and even in the rest of Fallen Skies, the plant was rare for as far as she was aware. But, it was a name she had seen in the garden. The plant was an interesting one. Without the help of an Alchemist’s magic, it was already a quite powerful plant, working against inflammations. But, there were reasons the plant was deemed holy by so many. And if mixed with the proper ingredients, it could be turned into something good. Chamomile was somewhat easier to acquire and she was quite sure that she could find most of the other things in the garden too. Perhaps she could get something working.

When Kaz woke up, she instantly put the pencil down, watching him as he groaned. A faint smile appeared on her face as he tried to push himself up, but he didn’t seem to pay attention to her yet, so she let him be until he dropped back on the bed. “Morning,” she greeted him eventually, still wearing that faint smile on her lips. Just happy to see him alive and all. “How are you feeling?” she asked carefully. What else could she ask, after all? She knew that he felt miserable, but… Maybe he at least felt the slightest bit better than yesterday. Or maybe he finally had something she could help him with.

---

Okay. This was bad. It hadn’t happened yet that he looked at her in the way that he did now. The predator inside him had made it to the surface and she seemed to be nothing more than a simple meal to him at this point. She grabbed the book and made her way off the bed, looking away from him as she did. Without a word, she made her way out the door, closing it behind her and pressing her back against it as soon as it closed. Tears found its way to her cheeks again as she took a deep breath in. This was exactly what she hadn’t been wanting to see. The monster inside of him, taking over. Because it was the one thing that could actually cause her to leave him someday.

When a maid kneeled down in front of her Duchess, who by now was sitting in front of the door, her face in her hands and the back of her head leaning against the door, she knew that she had to make a decision. ‘Is everything okay?’ the woman asked. Allison bit her lip, letting her hands fall on her lap. Softly, she shook her head. ‘Can I do anything to help?’ the woman then asked. The poor thing. Would she truly be…? Allison looked behind her for a second, before she had to fight back more tears. “It’s Kaz,” she answered, after which she got up and stepped aside, allowing the woman to open the door to their bedroom.

---

With slight hesitation, the brunette closed the door behind the maid. She could hear her ask something on the other side of the door, but soon after, the screaming started. Allison sat down again, her back leaning against the door. She wrapped her arms around the back of her head, covering her ears with her arms and hiding her face in her knees, which she had pulled up. Like that, she sat. Crying. The doubts clouded her mind as she finally allowed them to. For so long now, she had pushed them back. Telling herself that Kaz wasn’t the monster she had read about. That he and Mort were good. They were still the people they were before they were turned. Even when Mort had been burying the bodies. As she hadn’t seen them get killed, all was good. It had given her the chance to not create a visual of Kaz actually ending their lives.

Silence. It seemed to have taken an eternity before there was silence in the other room again. She didn’t stand up, however. Not for a while. She just sat there, tears streaming down her face, as she realized what had happened. As all her worries, all the negative thoughts, finally came in. Married to a monster. Even worse: loyal to one. Because even with this image in her head, a part of her wanted to rush in, ignore the body and the blood and ask him how he was. Still, with everything that had happened, she wanted to help him more than anything. Was she that hopeless?

It had been at least an hour, maybe even two, by the time she opened the door. She carefully closed it behind her and just stood there, her back against the door, looking at what had happened.

---

Surprisingly, there was no body. And by the gods, she was taking that surprise over anything else. A relieved sigh left her mouth as she pulled her hand through her hair. Some things never changed, after all. She took a moment of relief, pushing back those negative thoughts again. It was as if the screams had never happened. After all: if she didn’t see it, she didn’t need to believe it. So, she looked away from the bed. There was blood everywhere in this damn room, but that was something that could be taken care of. At this point, she didn’t care. There were more important matters. Speaking of…

She had to keep herself from mentally puking when she saw what was happening. She gasped for air, raising her hand to where it covered her mouth. For a few seconds she froze, but soon enough she rushed up to the vampire. Without thinking it through, she took his hands and tried to stop him from what he was doing. “Stop it,” she told him, her voice stern, yet clearly panicking. Why the hell was he digging into his own flesh? Had he gone completely insane? She looked down into the wound and noticed what was going on, causing her to bite her lip and look away again. Oh boy.

---

It was healing. And if it healed, the splinters would be stuck inside. Allison nodded. She understood, but him trying to fix this with his bare hands was only going to make matters worse, so she grabbed his hands again when he pulled them loose. “Let me,” she told him. “Just don't touch it,” she demanded, before she let go of his hands and made her way to the side of the bed, where she opened the nightstand again. This was probably the only time where he could ever be glad about his wife being a living, breathing doll. Because it also meant that she always had a tweezer at hand. Just in case. And that was going to be a lot better to pull out the splinters with.

She grabbed his hands as he seemed to be about to dig into the flesh again, looking the vampire into his eyes. “Let me do this,” she told him, placing his hands on his lap, before carefully letting go of them and looking at the wound, which seemed to want to heal. Badly. With the splinters inside. She took a deep breath in, cursing her karma, before she used the tweezers to pull out the first splinter. This was going to be a hell of a ride.

---